Tag Archives: safe word

by Rich Moreland, February 2015

Ela Darling is a responsible professional who has turned her fetishes into a career, so our jumping off point is the central question that teases all fetish performers: what makes a bondage shoot fun?

This ex-librarian and forever Harry Potter fan calls on her masochistic side when the camera rolls.

“I like rough sex. I like being spanked, I like the top of my hair pulled. I like being choked and slapped. [These things are] really arousing to me.”

Ela explains that rough sex acts as foreplay do not create orgasms by themselves. Rather, they make the orgasms “considerably stronger” when combined with hardcore penetration.

Smiling so Much

Ela loves Kink.com and respects how they handle the models they hire. She appreciates their checklist review because it illustrates the value they place in the people who shoot at the Armory. “You have to go through [it] every time you work for them to indicate what your are consenting to, what you’re okay with, and what you don’t want to happen. The director [and crew] both memorize your points on the list so they know exactly what you’re not okay with doing.”

“They’re super respectful. They make me feel so comfortable. They take care of me. I have so many friends who work there because they employ good people [who] try to do good things. I really like them.”

Running through a list of names at Kink, I bring up the now retired Bobbi Star, a well known pornography feminist. Ela shot her first porn scene with Bobbi when the San Jose State grad was still a performer. “She was the first girl I ever fucked on camera,” Ela remembers, though she never shot for Bobbi when she was directing for the company. Nevertheless, Ela describes Bobbi as “cool and smart.”

Incidentally, Ela did an Electrosluts shoot–Bobbi’s old site for Kink–when Lorelei Lee was directing. Also a feminist and long time Kink veteran, Lorelei owns a Master’s from NYU. “She’s incredible,” Ela remarks. “She is such an amazing woman. I have so much respect for her.”

To illustrate the importance of communication at Kink, Ela’s predominant memory of a Public Disgrace episode is being pulled aside by one of the female crew and quickly educated about what to do when stressed.

The crew person offered a valuable tip. “‘I know sometimes the girls get intimidated to use their safeword, so for Public Disgrace just call ‘red’ anytime, even if you have to go to the bathroom. If something is going on and you don’t feel comfortable saying, ‘Hey, this guy is creeping me out or this person is doing something I don’t like, just call ‘red’ and go to the bathroom, tell me what’s happening and I will take care of it so you don’t have to.'”

“That made me feel so incredibly safe and taken care of,” Ela recalls. “It made such a difference. It was a great shoot.”

Did she ever use her safeword during the show?

“I did,” Ela remarks, “a couple to times.” In one, she was not uncomfortable, she just needed a break to take care of a problem with her hair. On another occasion, food was the issue. Ela was “transitioning out of being a vegetarian” but still “very much” into it at the time. A cast member wanted to throw deli meat at her, but Ela was not okay with that and needed to halt the shooting to straighten things out.

“I called ‘red’ to ask people not to throw turkey on my vagina, which they we’re doing. They were very respectful” and adjusted the shoot.

Public Disgrace has a reputation of tipping toward the edge and chooses its models wisely for that reason. A beaming Ela describes her shoot as “so much fun [and] so extreme.” Her friends who watched it later were aghast. Ela was amused.

“There were times when I would have to turn my head away from the camera because I was smiling so much! It was so awesome!”

As often happens with girls who begin in BDSM porn as submissives, Ela is turning the tables a bit now.

Owning Her Scene

“I switch sometimes. I top men mostly, which is really fun.” But Ela Darling underscores that bottoming for men is not high on her list.

“I like to top women sometimes. But I love subbing to women. I love seeing a strong and empowered woman just like owning everything.”

Well, Ela is owning her scene today. The final question has to do with the BDSM, in general. Is she a lifestyler?

“I really don’t consider myself a lifestyler because I don’t really participate in community events. It’s more of a private thing for me. But my interaction with the lifestyle community has been really great. [They are] a really intuitive bunch of people.”

If she ever changes her mind and goes more public, I’m betting Ela Darling would be welcomed with open arms.

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Ela Darling is represented by Star Factory PR. They can be reached at 818-732-0191 or via email at Info@StarFactoryPR.com
StarFactoryPR.com