“Good Luck with That!”

by Rich Moreland, August, 2013

This is a review of Adam and Eve’s The Perfect Secretary III: New Recruit, a film by Nick Orleans.

boxcover perfect secretary

Like all artists, adult film directors express their personal preferences in their work. For John Stagliano, the sex comes first; the story is built around it. Other directors, like feminists Candida Royalle and Nica Noelle, believe the story should be the reason for the sex. Then there are the directors who love the fetish. This is the case with Nick Orleans’ The Perfect Secretary III: New Recruit.

Despite the allure of a shackled Riley Reid on the boxcover, BDSM is not this film’s kink. Perfect Secretary is a pantyhose bonanza. Outfits of all sorts dominate the scenes.

Perfect Secretary offers a unique challenge. The cast is a winner, but at first glance the story is confusing.

Nick Orleans seems sloppy at times, looping the action in one instance and tossing in out-of-order editing in another. Expecting more from Adam and Eve, I decided to apply my skeptic’s eye to the DVD a second time, looking for clues to explain what escaped me. In short order, everything came together to create a delightful movie.

Riley Reid is cute and precious with just the right touch of naiveté and eagerness to be a convincing new recruit.  She plays Vanessa Brooks, a grad student who wants an interview with Dylan Baukriver, the director of a sex therapy institute. The story opens with a smiling Vanessa vigorously masturbating under the covers. She’s wearing her panties and this sets the tone for the film. Crotch rubbing and fabric is an ongoing visual motif.

The BaukRiver Institute sends Vanessa a flashdrive via snail mail with what appears to be clinic advertising. She’s expecting a confirmation of her interview request. The chief administrator, Mistress Mela (Katie St. Ives) in pantyhose, heels, and bra, appears on screen to personally invite Vanessa to the facility. In shock, Vanessa then sees herself in the next segment walking the institute’s corridors accompanied by the clinic’s “fet” girls who are dressed similarly to Mistress Mela.

“What the f**k,” is Vanessa’s response as she watches herself being caressed by Mistress Mela.

Here’s where the story gets tricky. We go immediately to the clinic and follow Vanessa’s adventures, but if I’m correct, the viewer has entered one of her masturbation fantasies. The looping and the appearance and reappearance of certain shots in the movie that seem at first to be choppy editing now make sense. A fantasy does not have a tight narrative.

After awhile, I confess I wanted to see the “fet” girls lose their pantyhose altogether, especially since they were beautifully inked. Only twice did this occur and with only one girl.

Speaking of the gang, here they are: Mistress Mela, followed by Bailey Blue—whose oral work on Jessy Jones begins the film’s sexual encounters—Holly Taylor, Cameron Canada, Staci Silverstone, and Alice Frost. The long-legged Staci blossoms as the only nude girl and a stunning one I might add.

It’s Bailey’s oral that offered the clue I needed. In a bit of clever camera work, James Avalon films the action from underneath a coffee table positioned in front of the couch where Bailey’s mouth is working vigorously on Chad Alva. The table has a glass top so Bailey appears to be going down and up simultaneously because her image is reflected in the glass. She meets herself with each stroke exactly what Vanessa Brooks and Dylan Baukriver will do when they unite. They seek the missing halves of their personalities, a Jungian dream theory. In this case it is dominance versus submission and their kinks are not always what they appear to be. Vanessa, who claims to be a submissive, is dominant in her thinking and the dominant Dylan is a closet sub, as we see later in the cage scene.

There you have it, a touch of Alice in Wonderland. What seems to be reality can be reversed and done over to find its completion. Kudos to Nick Orleans for his artistry.

Quick Matrimony

The mysterious and handsome Mr. Baukriver (Michael Vegas) has some kinks and quandaries but he falls in love with his new recruit, all part of Vanessa’s fantasy. Her anticipated interview disappears from the script (logical because it’s an unlikely focus in a sexual fantasy) and is replaced by the first sex scene between Vanessa and Baukriver. The story ends with the two coupling again for a fun-filled finish. Riley Reed is pure carnality and enticing to watch.

Chanel Preston’s scene with Prince Yashua is a classic Chanel rocking romp, although a bit outré. Teasing Prince with her mocking laugh, Chanel wears unexplained wings that flap with a coquettishness that only Chanel can pull off. Perfect, of course, for a dream or fantasy sequence. The boxcover bills their scene as Chanel’s first interracial. If nothing else, it’s a piece of history for any adult film library.

The only true bondage scene features Chad Alva (as Baukriver’s younger brother) and Katie St. Ives. She dommes him with a flogger, but it’s a bit awkward. A quick check of Katie’s BDSM porn history reveals that she films as a sub and switching may not be comfortable for her. The sex that follows is solid, but not spectacular. My sense is that Katie and Chad may be “rec sex” buddies beyond the film set who were just having some fun.

The anal scene with Richie Calhoun and Dana DeArmond survives on Dana’s sexual delivery. She is a respected pro and true porn icon who one day will be in AVN’s Hall of Fame. However, the ever present “fet” girls who watch close by are distracting. Apparently the shoot was lengthy (the bonus disc mentions that) and the room was hot. Sweat matted hair. The “fet” girls, who touch themselves non-stop through their pantyhose, contribute to the scene’s sluggish pace. At times they look uncertain and languid, glancing at the director with a questioning “What do I do next?”

It’s here that I felt the editing was a problem until I reexamined the scene. Staci Silverstone removes her pantyhose, puts them back on, and appears naked again. The same with Cameron Canada’s alternating opened and closed crotch snaps, very similar to the exchange of spit and cum between Holly and Bailey that is looped in the earlier oral scene.

Now that everything makes sense in light of the story’s purpose, the shoot reinforces the feel Nick Orleans intends.

*        *        *        *        *

Vanessa and Dylan Baukriver fall in love abruptly and without any build up (this is a dream-like fantasy, remember). Wearing a spreader bar around her neck that secures her wrists, Vanessa gets clumsily attached to a gate finial. Baukriver finds her and refuses to help because they have a brief dustup over her safeword. Later she finds him hiding in a cage watching his brother’s punishment. They kiss, express their love, and matrimony quickly comes out of nowhere.

At this point, my favorite character makes a brief appearance. Danny Wylde plays the minister and prefaces the ceremony with the importance of marriage, interjecting with a suppressed chuckle that he’s an expert because he’s had four. Later, after Vanessa promises she will be Dylan’s sub for life, he vows that he will forever be her “lord and master.”

Reverend Wylde comments dryly, “Good luck with that.”

I laughed out loud.

The final sex scene showcases Riley Reid’s oral techniques with the “fet” girls once more taking it all in, rubbing away mechanically through their collective fabrics.

Perfect Secretary III is a fetish film with a BDSM touch. It’s a well conceived and enjoyable tale with industry legends James Avalon and co-producer Jane Hamilton lending their expertise to its success. Recognized as one of the better films of 2013, Perfect Secretary certainly deserves a look.

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