Vanity Stripped Away: Part One of an Interview with Holly Heart

by Rich Moreland, February, 2015

Rarely have I had the pleasure of interviewing a performer who comes close to Holly Heart. This sultry blonde and I speak a mutual language and I’m happy to say her enthusiasm leaps through the words of our conversation. In the all-too-short time together we had at the 2015 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, she was so ardent in our pre-interview chat that I abandoned my prepared notes so we could focus on her passion for the fetish play that dances around the proprieties of vanilla America.

Be it known that Holly Heart is no missionary position porn girl who delicately wades into sexual experimentation. She revels in her fetishes, learns from them, and has achieved a personal satisfaction that flummoxes those whose erotic proclivities remain closeted. Holly has discovered the rarest of treasures: liberation and strength gained through a sexual awakening.

Overcoming her BDSM fears and the reticence they created, Holly is receiving her bondage merits, or hard-won marks (pun intended), with a determination that elevates serving to its highest honor. It’s an achievement reserved for a few of the brightest stars who entertain BDSM fans with a zealotry unseen in run-of-the-mill adult film.

A Submissive Person

Holly Heart makes her mark in our interview. Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

Holly Heart makes her mark in our interview.
Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

To get us started, I ask Holly to define her BDSM self.

She runs through submissive, bottom, and masochist, then adds, “I am a submissive person, but not all submissives are masochists.” Agreed. As Bobbi Starr once told me, many subs want to please, others get off on pain.

Holly quickly delves into her own story. “I happen to be a masochist. I love pain.” She explains that her self-definition goes back to her early shoots with Kink.com, the San Francisco porn company run by Peter Acworth, where a handful of directors that include James Mogul and Matt Williams (who now runs Intersec across the bay in Oakland), guided her along.

You are a slave in bondage play?

“[The Kink directors] helped me explore what I like as a masochist and that was so awesome for me. But as a far as being a slave, I wouldn’t consider myself someone’s slave because I’ve never had a master [in my personal life], but I’ve had dominant men submit me.”

Of course, Kink’s The Upper Floor is a submissive girl’s dream experience, at least on the professional level. Has Holly joined this elite rank of performers?

“I just did a scene on Wednesday for them with James,” she answers with unmitigated excitement.

This girl is on board with her fetish. BDSM fans should check out some of her work.

Too Perfect all the Time

Orgasm and pain are worshipped on the BDSM alter because reaching that special nirvana requires practice, self-understanding, and a processing ability that zeros in on the relaxation necessary to to go with the flow. No tensing up in this play space or the scene collapses very fast and the pre-negotiated safe word will quickly wrap things up leading to disappointment and feelings of failure.

One of the best training grounds at Kink.com uses preparation in its name, The Training of O. The website is managed by one of the studio’s best directors, James Mogul. A prominent submissive who shot for him told me James is the master manipulator. He establishes a girl’s focus on the first day–the issue she wants to explore–and goes from there, building the next three days to address her goal or need. The shoots become a personal journey of self-discovery that for some girls is a once in a lifetime experience.

“I didn’t really know how to process the pain [though] I did a few shoots for Kink [before] I did Training of O in 2010,” Holly says. “Oddly enough [James honored] my request to better myself.”

Under the tutelage of James Mogul. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Under the tutelage of James Mogul.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

She explains that James’ grasp of psychology allowed him to get inside her head and satisfy her desire.

“I was like super vain and I told them [James and his assistant Maestro who participates sexually in TTO shoots] that I wanted to feel beautiful even in my most detrimental moments when I’m not beautiful, when I don’t think I am physically beautiful. They really helped me break that vainness. I thought you had to be pretty and be like a perfect statuesque-like person and that’s not the case.”

Holly furthers her honesty. “I felt like I just wanted to be too perfect all the time and I didn’t always want to feel like that. As a submissive you’re not going to be pretty every day.”

Holly talks about having “spit on your face” and other things “that make you look not physically attractive to what you may think is the [measure of] standard beauty.” She elaborates. “You need to learn that [how you look in training] is beautiful because that is what your Dominant thinks is beautiful and as a submissive I wanted to learn that, to understand that I am beautiful no matter what I look like.” Holly “wanted to be stripped” of the vanity that compelled her to always strive for physical attraction on camera.

In short, she sought maturity and an understanding that to be enticing and provocative has different faces in different situations.

As was customary in those days at Kink, Holly stayed in the Armory (their Mission District facility) where she had homework assignments in the evening after the shooting day was finished. Her four days of TTO were rewarding, she recalls, with Day Three the most difficult.

During that session she was naked and carrying wooden pallets, the sort of workout James would schedule for a girl with an athletic, toned body and a background of fitness. “I was strong enough to carry them,” Holly remembers proudly. The Kink team made certain that she was protected from injury, as is their protocol. Holly wore gloves and steel-toed boots. “But the humility of it,” she says, was the “pig’s tail anal plug” she had to endure and the name-calling, “piggy and all these different names affiliated with pigs.” It’s BDSM play, of course, designed to ignite the crackling fires of explosive pleasure.

Training with James: the zipper. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Training with James: the zipper.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

“I just broke down,” Holly recalls, “and was crying.” They caned her feet and used zippers (clothes pins on lengths of cord) as arousal techniques while the ever present Hitachi induced orgasms. The blonde submissive believes Kink affirms the classical conditioning theories of Ivan Pavlov. “You start to associate the pain with pleasure,” she states, “and you learn to process the pain with an orgasm.” It was an awesome experience.

You Belong to Them

Was this any sort of revelation, I ask?

Holly says she’s done two TTO shoots (an honor in a sense because James does not always do a repeat show with a girl). In the first episode, the pig play and taunting made an impression. I was “such a new sub,” she remembers, and “didn’t understand the logistics of the dom and sub relationship,” so it was a learning process.

As is the Kink custom, the final interview wrapped things up, but Holly was not finished at the Armory. The next day she was initiated into The Upper Floor, Kink’s live parties that take place in the Armory’s version of an English country house where slaves serve their masters. In 2010 being a house slave was a choice position at the company because it offered regular work for performers and is the pinnacle of BDSM play at Kink.

The Upper Floor slave. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The Upper Floor slave.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Reaching the achievement of “belong[ing] to the house,” Holly explains, means that “you belong to them. You will obey and do what they say if you want to be part of that and you’re going to be beautiful no matter what because they think it is beautiful.”

And, Holly Heart is grateful. “It took me years to get over that vanity,” but I “pushed through it” and “was a better submissive because I could serve,” she says with overwhelming pride.

The revelation is deafening because it’s the fetish that creates the loveliness in every submissive who must abandon her own self-definitions to achieve the non-judgmental pleasure she seeks. “I wasn’t thinking about myself because as a submissive and a slave you serve others. You don’t worry about you.”

What Holly means is what I’ve heard before. With serving comes liberation, a freedom and acceptance that results from going through trials and tribulations to prove to yourself how powerful you can be, a concept very foreign to the vanilla sexual world.

*          *          *          *          *

Holly Heart is represented by Star Factory PR. They can be reached at 818-732-0191 or via email at Info@StarFactoryPR.com or StarFactoryPR.com

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