Tag Archives: Matt Williams

I Never quite Know

by Rich Moreland, August, 2015

The Mercy West story continues.

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Mercy West Photo courtesy of Hardtied

Absolutely Wonderful
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

“It was wonderful. It was absolutely wonderful.”

A smiling Mercy West sits on a towel with sections of rope scattered on the floor around her (she was hogtied and suspended from the ceiling). Rope impressions on her ankles can’t hide the pleasure she’s just experienced from her kinks. Her butt sports a submissive’s thrill, cane marks. An orgasm went along with the show.

grunge girl poster

Titled “Grunge Girl,” the Hardtied shoot runs for about an hour and puts Mercy through her paces. It’s her first hardcore penetration scene in adult film. She is whipped, performs oral sex, and is vaginally penetrated (she doesn’t do anal at this point in her career). Her Dom is Jacky Hammer.

The producer of Mercy’s shoot is Intersec Interactive Inc. Located in Oakland, California, the parent company of Hardtied is run by Matt Williams who once worked for rival Kink.com across the bay.

For each of its five websites (the others are TopGirl, Infernal Restraints, Real Time Bondage, and Sexually Broken), Intersec uses the Kink model of pre and post shoot interviews to introduce the performer and ameliorate criticism from those who see bondage shoots as degrading and abusing to women.

A Bondage Disneyland?

Things are not what they seem to be when it comes to BDSM porn Photo courtesy of Intersece

Things are always not what they seem to be
Photo courtesy of Intersec

Here’s a little post-shoot info for those who need reassurance that Mercy has her wits about her and is cool with her experience. She spoke at length with me about it.

Everything went well, she says. “I really can’t think of too much that didn’t go how I wanted it to go. Working with Jack was really nice.”

Each time she’s gone to Intersec, excitement and a positive nervousness abound.

“It’s like taking a trip to Disneyland as much as it is a job like the others I do on a daily basis in adult. I really, really love working with them. The atmosphere in the studio is impeccable, everyone seems to get along. Everyone is respectful.”

Bondage porn is Mercy’s magic. “I’m working with the type of people that I’ve interacted with since I decided to put myself in the kink community.” But, she adds, “I’m always a little nervous because I never quite know exactly what’s in store.”

Shooting with Bella Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Shooting with Bella
Photo courtesy of Intersec

And that’s exciting because Mercy knows at Intersec she is watched over and respected. The studio’s directors–she’s fond of Jack Hammer and Bella Rossi, in particular–work within her personal limits, as is expected in the BDSM community. Jack’s shoot had a “pretty girl” theme and after she picked out an appropriate outfit, the stills were taken.

Instead of relying on “screen shots from the actual video,” companies like Intersec “take the time of take good ones,” Mercy says.

Artistic Still from Infernal Restraints Photo courtesy of Intesec

Erotic Art
Photo courtesy of Intesec

From her experience, some studios may break the action to take 35s or “have someone using photography equipment during the filming to capture moments” outside of the typical screen shot. The petite model compliments studios that focus on good stills because they tend to be artistic, thus “falling under the category of erotic art.” The best ones are “absolutely stunning” and can easily end up as website banners and adverts, she believes.

After a second thought, Mercy humorously back tracks. “I could be wrong and people could just be jerking off to them!”

That’s quite likely.

Nevertheless, she’s pleased with hers. They have “more of an artistic intent than purely pornographic one,” she concludes.

Now to the Details

Rain Degrey before one of her Intersec Shoots Photo courtesy of Intersec

Rain Degrey ready for an Intersec Shoot
Photo courtesy of Intersec

Mercy enjoys the travel that reconnects her with people in the business. When she goes to Oakland, bondage superstar Rain DeGrey, an Intersec recruiter and still active model, picks her up at the airport. Arriving this time for Hardtied, Mercy circulated as usual, carefully avoiding anyone who was busy. “There are always people running in and out” and if they have a moment or two they will “say hello and ask how I’ve been,” she says.

A few days before her arrival, Mercy phoned Jack “about limits and ideas and clothing,” what they would have done if they were negotiating a scene at a club.

It’s a process Mercy knows.

“I’m used to talking to the person I’m playing with before hand to get a feel for their personality and for what they’re looking for. I’d already met Jack twice, first on my Infernal Restraints shoot and again at my TopGirl shoot.” She is comfortable with him, she says, he is “a really diverse performer.” Incidentally, Mercy was careful to make sure he liked her outfit.

Jack at work. The outfit passed inspection! Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

The outfit passed inspection!
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Because the scene was her first boy/girl, Mercy’s nerves were like her body, tied up . . . but less than if she’d been shooting for another company. “I couldn’t have felt better about the whole situation.” Not surprising, the adrenaline was pumping. “It really is a drug,” she exclaims, that undoubtedly enhanced her pleasure.

“After the initial interview on camera, we started to work things out and I got into my first position.” As the shoot progressed, Mercy mentions she did not “have to be taken out too many times.” Models get safewords to use when issues arise because BDSM is hard on the body and brain. Some performers, especially those derisively referred to as “LA porn girls,” are not accustomed to the stresses of the fetish.

Mercy knows about the bondage scene; pornwise, she is not in it solely for the paycheck.

Rope bondage, especially strappado, and suspension can be uncomfortable if not rigged properly. Models must be aware of their bodies and even the best like Casey Calvert and the now retired Bobbi Starr would agree with Mercy that nothing should be “tingly” or “falling asleep.” Make sure “you have feeling everywhere,” Mercy says.

Rope Work Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Rope Work can create a tingly feeling
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Intersec is awareness personified. The director and crew monitor the set closely which makes our short-haired bondage babe feel safe. “We did three or four different sections and I was taken out at least two times in each tie just to give me a break and to last longer.”

Making sure Mercy isn't in a tie too long! Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Making sure Mercy is satisfied
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Though Mercy admits “there is a certain amount of performance” in her shoots, “being submissive” has its own particular pleasures. Unfortunately, there is the “subspace” issue which can be risky for some performers. “Sometimes you can get into that headspace and not be completely paying attention to your limbs and your digits.” In fact, Mercy believes “It is really easy to get lost in subspace and if you are actually into bondage and S&M, not just modeling or pretending to be into it, working with experienced kinksters just feels so comfortable.”

A Reality Check

Mercy does remember one surprise. A nylon stocking cap was put over her head. “I didn’t realize it until it happened and I was being walked out on stage. Of course, they had asked me and I agreed—I just didn’t think twice about it.” Next a “tape gag” was put around her mouth and “a tape blindfold over the nylon.”

Stocking cap and gag Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

Stocking cap and tape in the hands of Jack Hammer
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

“I had never been blindfolded and gagged at the same time,” she says and momentarily she felt like she was in over her head, as the old saying goes. Focusing on the sensation “a little too much, I stopped,” Mercy remembers, “shook my head a little bit to get myself straight. Jack grabbed onto me and made sure I was okay.”

‘“Are you all right? I got you. Is everything all right?’”

“I took a breather and he asked if I needed to be taken out of the gag and out of the blindfold. I just stood there and everything was fine. The moment I heard his voice, ready to do whatever I needed, I was immediately calmed down and sort of gave him the ‘let’s go forward.’ When they yelled action and everything went on as planned.”

Looking back, Mercy declares, “I needed a little reality check [which turned out] absolutely beautiful, I really needed that wonderful communication.”

The value of experience in the BDSM play scene is priceless and a lesson for everyone who doubts sane people engage in the fetish. Speaking of Intersec, Mercy says, “I feel like I am completely in control and that they are in control of themselves and aware of the situation.” Good news because her first on-film penetration, breaking her porn cherry as they say in the business, went really well.

*          *          *

Mercy West is not finished at Intersec because she wants to shoot for each of their sites. “They are totally attentive, extremely friendly and I just love working there. I can’t wait to go back. I would love, love, love to do Real Time Bondage. . . that would be one of the most intense things that I have ever done.”

Before the shoot Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Maybe Real Time Bondage is next?
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

What makes that site so special?

“They say it’s about four and a half hours straight of live streaming with tiny breaks in-between,” Mercy exclaims with delight.

Sounds good to her fans, they’ll be ready to watch this bondage slut take it all in.

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Empowerment Instead of Degradation: Part Three of an Interview with Holly Heart

by Rich Moreland, February 2015

Anyone who writes in the adult film industry knows that some performers have little to say, prefer questions that are pure fluff (defined as requiring no thought), and repeat the same old tired information repackaged for the moment. This is not true of Holly Heart. She is the genuine article, an animated and thoughtful woman whose knockout good looks impose her presence wherever she goes.

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“I don’t think it is hard to be a dominant, for me anyway, because I know exactly what a sub wants and I’m not afraid to give it to them.”

Holly Heart, like many submissives, now switches; in other words, she plays the Domme role more often. Well-schooled in BDSM, this imposing performer relishes the pleasure she can bring to subs because that is primarily the responsibility of a top, master, or mistress.

Holly during our interview, a real sweetheart! Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

Holly during our interview, a real sweetheart!
Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

“I love to see them do their tasks, watch them in their humiliation [and] watch them struggle. I’m intrigued and turned on by the process, it’s so amazing, sexy, and euphoric. I want to give that to a submissive.”

But how easy is switching because apparently not all subs want to know what it feels like on the other end?

“I think a lot of submissives are afraid [to dom] because they don’t want to hurt somebody, that’s their mindset.” It seems that switching is a fairly smooth process if the sub approaches it with the proper perspective.

“A true submissive can be a switch at any point in time [because] they know another submissive loves it [the act of submission],” Holly declares. I agree. The now retired Bobbi Starr, an industry legend and personal acquaintance, is a perfect example.

However, Holly admits that some subs “will never change, will never switch, and will cry when they [are] forced to dom another sub.” That situation can get complicated, she remarks, when a Dom has two subs and one becomes the “alpha sub” who does the Dom’s bidding on the other girl. There is sometimes resistance because it is so difficult for some subs to turn off their true feelings.

“It’s really intricate and each relationship is just different,” Holly explains. “Some people just want to be submissive. They don’t want to cross over and that is fine.”

In her personal life, Holly loves diversification and talks about how it flavors her marriage. She adores “live parties” and her husband is her “submissive whenever we go anywhere,” she says. In fact, Holly rarely bottoms anymore and “only to certain people,” mentioning her favorite directors, James Mogul and Matt Williams, in particular.

But there is a price to pay for that side of the spectrum, especially if vanilla work in LA is on her agenda. She loves giving her body “full-fledged and wholeheartedly” to James and Matt and she’ll let them “mark” her. “I don’t care I love wearing them [marks] with pride,” she interjects, a point of view I’ve heard from other submissive performers. But vanilla companies don’t want a bruised and reddened girl in a shoot they are trying to sell to their fans, so a fine line is walked.

As for BDSM’s critics, Holly is blunt. “I don’t care what people think or say because they have no clue what I get out of that experience.”

Holly Heart is her own free-spirited woman.

A True Switch

The conversation turns to Princess Donna, a beloved Domme at Kink.

“I did a Public Disgrace shoot [PD’s website for Kink] in a vintage shop in San Francisco back in 2009. She took me in a van with Roger [the male Dom] in the scene. We had a group of guys at the shop and they paraded me around,” Holly remembers. Donna insists she perform oral sex on the men, typical of Kink shoots, and put a clown nose on her. “They wrote ‘cum slut’ on me. I really loved it.” Later Hollly was booked for Hardcore Gangbang (which replaced an earlier PD site called Bound Gangbang), but at that time another director was in place.

The clown nose. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The clown nose.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Over and again I’m told about the magic that is Princess Donna and Holly is no different in her evaluation of the director.

PD in her most sultry look. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

PD with her most sultry look.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

“She is statuesque, very beautiful, just super,” Holly says of the thirty-something New York University grad. “She is this untouchable angelic being to me. I look at her and just see so much confidence and perfection. She is definitely a role model in a sense that you just want to submit to her.”

Holly recalls an Upper Floor shoot with Donna that also featured Madison Young. “I must have been twenty,” she says, “my first party.” Though memories sometimes become hazy, Holly believes Donna fisted her, a thrill for the BDSM neophyte. She admires Donna and wants to follow in her “BDSM footsteps because she is a submissive, too. I love that she loves pain and gang bangs, all those hardcore things she empowers.” Incidentally, Donna still shoots occasionally as a sub.

Madison Young performing on The Upper Floor.  Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Madison Young performing on The Upper Floor with Matt Williams.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

I’ve described Donna as a feminist in my recent book on the industry and Holly reinforces the raven-haired beauty’s image of a strong woman, echoing what I’ve heard over years of interviews in this film genre. “I wish more women would take a look at Donna and see her as a role model for women’s empowerment instead of degradation because it’s really frustrating when people see it [BDSM] like that.”

A final comment on Donna highlights Holly’s perspective. “She’s been a staple for me. It’s nice to have that somebody that honestly and truly cares and wants to educate people [about BDSM]. She is so sweet whenever I meet her in the hallways at Kink. I had a wonderful time with her on Public Disgrace.”

“To have the BDSM role model to look up to [is important],” Holly concludes, because Donna is “a true switch who can just flip it on and off.”

Lastly, we chat momentarily about Matt Williams who left Kink a few years ago to start his own collection of websites.

Their relationship is good. “He is super professional and he respects everybody and I respect everybody.” Now that Matt is running his own business, Holly enjoys “rekindling and revisiting” her connections with him. As for as who is working for whom in the BDSM trade, personal kinship, not companies, matter the most, Holly believes.

*          *          *          *          *

Aware that time has gotten away from us, we must wrap things up. The Press Room is a constant flow of people with PR types running around trying to fit all the pieces together, never a easy task. So for now it’s adieu with the hope that one day Holly and I can further explore her BDSM journey.

She’s a dynamic package that is too adorable to ignore . . .

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Bent in Half: Part Two of an Interview with Holly Heart

by Rich Moreland, February 2015

Holly Heart is a native Californian and veteran of adult film. In her early thirties, she is now a popular MILF performer working regularly for LA’s Porn Valley studios. Her fetish resume is highlighted by her one hundred plus shoots for Kink.com. Holly is one of their most sought after BDSM models.

Our interview continues.

*          *          *          *          *

Shooting as a BDSM submissive in adult film can be just another booking or an authentic experience, depending on the model. For some girls who make the transition into the real deal, psychological and emotional changes take place that can be a slow rising tide or a sudden bolt of lightning. My interviews with Kink.com submissives reveal that pathways awakened to discovery are very personal as illustrated in two earlier posts on this blog, Casey Calvert and Dylan Ryan.

Holly Heart now joins these performers, putting her own spin on her transformation.

The Milk Bucket

A self-assurance emerged after Holly’s shoot with James Mogul’s TTO.

“When I started doing live scenes like The Upper Floor [and] being in front of an audience doing what they are telling me to do, I started to get this slave confidence that I could obey, confidence that I could be prestigious, that I could do what I’m told in a timely manner.”

Inspiration lights up Holly’s eyes as she describes her transformation. Her intensity increases and she borders on proselytization, reinforcing my belief that BDSM adherents have their own faith, a kind of conversion that leads to peace and an affirmation of their minds and bodies.

“That’s when I started to really feel it,” she says. “It’s almost like the unknown is gone and now you can really be what you want to be because what was clouding you has been removed. Only a submissive in the BDSM community can really understand it [and] you have so much fun doing it.”

Holly has expanded her Kink experiences. Over “the last five years,” she declares, her life has “changed dramatically” because of them.

“It’s made me more respectful, it’s made me a kinder, more compassionate person, more understanding and I’m really grateful for that [and] for the community [and] for all the people that had the patience to teach me.”

Holly on Device Bondage. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Holly on Device Bondage.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Holly praises Matt Williams. “He was so gracious with me. He was my first Dom ever.” Her initial shoot was for Device Bondage, the Kink website Matt directed at the time. To make her experience proceed well, Matt employed Rain DeGrey be on the set for Holly’s live show.

“I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was I had read books about bondage and I wanted to be a slave. It enticed me, it was glorifying to me to be a slave, to be on that pedestal, just to be there and be a part of that. To be available for service is just hot and sexy! It just feels good!”

Holly dips into an amusing episode during the shoot: the crew put some hot sauce between her legs.

“I was sweaty and writhing and it was so painful! At the end of the shoot I’m thinking, ‘Oh, hot sauce on your tongue? Get some milk.’ Rain brings me two buckets of milk and I’m sitting in them during the [post-shoot] interview. That was my introduction to BDSM,” she laughs.

Years later Holly came to understand that she’s “a freaking masochist,” as she puts it. More live shoots at Kink, which she characterizes as “a really amazing experience and a really amazing journey,” reinforced that new sexual self-definition.

In it’s own way, perhaps BDSM is religious-like, certainly it’s emotional impact on those who love it is intense.

Subspace

It’s time to talk about something I like to bring up in these kinds of conversation: mindfucks.

Holly smiles broadly and tells me she has two great stories she will share.

“I was afraid of the hot sauce. In my head I knew that the sauce was never going to be there again because it was on my “no” list (like everyone in the BDSM community, professional or amateur, Kink honors a submissive’s hard limits, those things that are off the board in a shoot.)

“I was on the set with Lochai for Hogtied many years ago (Lochai has since left the company and now resides in Baltimore). He tied me up to a wall with my legs and arms spread with a bowling ball crotch harness attached to me. Then he had a zipper (cord with clothespins) on my tits and stomach.”

Lochai, whose personality is humor built on a flair for rigging that is widely respected in the community, pulls out a bottle.

“I don’t know what it is,” Holly relates, “but for some reason I thought it was the sauce. I got really scared and [in my eyes] you can see the fear. He sprays my face with it and it was baby oil!” Lochai is playing the mental dodge ball that spices up his shoots.

“He sprays my whole body and rips off the zipper. I was so thinking about the sauce that my mind was in a whole other place that I didn’t even feel the zipper!”

Holly then offers an example of subspace in a recent Sexually Broken episode for Real Time Bondage, a current Matt Williams site. She describes  being “bent in half” with arms and legs tied down. Matt and his associate Jackhammer are penetrating her mouth and vagina, “just back and forth, back and forth, no-stop simultaneously,” she says.

Bent in half. Photo courtesy of Intersec.com

Bent in half.
Photo courtesy of Intersec.com

“I literally went into this complete moment of subspace where nothing existed. It was like a perfect moment where I only thought of that moment and my brain tuned out and my body just went completely limp. It was like I never wanted that feeling to stop. It’s an addiction.” She adds a cautionary note. “Because they are professionals,” the director and crew recognize when a girl is closing in on that psychological dreamland.

Should a submissive teeter near the edge, monitoring her emotional balance takes over. “They know that you are zoning out and you are going to pass out any second because you feel so good.” But Holly understands she is safe because the filming will stop if a dangerous turn in the road is coming up.

Incidentally, subspace often prohibits a submissve from using her safeword. Some models tell me they self-monitor during filming to avoid losing control so they will not be accidentally injured. Casey Calvert, for example, reserves subspace for her private life, preferring to maintain total awareness when working professionally.

Bear in mind, Holly Heart is a veteran BDSMer. This is not Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s a community of people who understand and appreciate their fetishes and are careful in their play. She joins the best professional submissives I’ve written about such as Madison Young, Casey Calvert, Rain DeGrey, and Dylan Ryan who are very aware of the sensitive nature of subspace.

Holly ranks the Sexually Broken shoot among her best. “It was the most amazing experience, especially being in the community now for so long.” This California girl understands she is able to put herself in that situation and, as she says, “really feel the utmost pleasure and not be afraid.”

Reading the Body

Holly and I have something in common, sports. As a former triathlete and marathoner, I bring up the “runner’s high” that causes the endurance athlete to transcend the stress of the race. Her interest sparked, Holly mentions adrenaline. “I love to run, too, and I get that runner’s high.” Like yours truly, Holly is also a weightlifter to go along with her aerobic fitness and it shows in her taut body that, by the way, serves her well in another line of Kink shoots she loves, Ultimate Surrender, girl wrestling that ends in good sex. The site is widely (and wildly) popular among Kink models and is shot before a live audience.

Before the match. The competitors: Holly, Audry Rose, Bryn Blaine, and Rain DeGrey. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Before the match. The competitors: Holly, Audrey Rose, Bryn Blaine, and Rain DeGrey.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Holly promotes the feel good aspect of working out.

“I think we need to express that to people unfamiliar with [the benefits of exercise]. You can get this natural high from your body that is actually good and its not going to harm you, its actually going to be better for your life.”

During the match the audience looks on. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

During the match the audience looks on.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

This avid sports girl then makes a quick transition to demystify BDSM. “We’re not hurting each other when we are doing corporal punishment. We know the body’s limit. We educate ourselves on [changes in skin color for blood flow] and the way a person writhes when they are getting spanked, caned, or flogged. Reading the body language, eye contact, facial expressions, that is what makes a professional dominant so good.”

Fetish education is integral to the BDSM community, Holly explains. “If we could get the world to understand that, then the world may be more open to it.”

*          *          *          *          *

Part Three of my interview with this extraordinary woman is coming next. She’ll discuss switching and learning from Kink’s Princess Donna.

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Vanity Stripped Away: Part One of an Interview with Holly Heart

by Rich Moreland, February, 2015

Rarely have I had the pleasure of interviewing a performer who comes close to Holly Heart. This sultry blonde and I speak a mutual language and I’m happy to say her enthusiasm leaps through the words of our conversation. In the all-too-short time together we had at the 2015 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, she was so ardent in our pre-interview chat that I abandoned my prepared notes so we could focus on her passion for the fetish play that dances around the proprieties of vanilla America.

Be it known that Holly Heart is no missionary position porn girl who delicately wades into sexual experimentation. She revels in her fetishes, learns from them, and has achieved a personal satisfaction that flummoxes those whose erotic proclivities remain closeted. Holly has discovered the rarest of treasures: liberation and strength gained through a sexual awakening.

Overcoming her BDSM fears and the reticence they created, Holly is receiving her bondage merits, or hard-won marks (pun intended), with a determination that elevates serving to its highest honor. It’s an achievement reserved for a few of the brightest stars who entertain BDSM fans with a zealotry unseen in run-of-the-mill adult film.

A Submissive Person

Holly Heart makes her mark in our interview. Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

Holly Heart makes her mark in our interview.
Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

To get us started, I ask Holly to define her BDSM self.

She runs through submissive, bottom, and masochist, then adds, “I am a submissive person, but not all submissives are masochists.” Agreed. As Bobbi Starr once told me, many subs want to please, others get off on pain.

Holly quickly delves into her own story. “I happen to be a masochist. I love pain.” She explains that her self-definition goes back to her early shoots with Kink.com, the San Francisco porn company run by Peter Acworth, where a handful of directors that include James Mogul and Matt Williams (who now runs Intersec across the bay in Oakland), guided her along.

You are a slave in bondage play?

“[The Kink directors] helped me explore what I like as a masochist and that was so awesome for me. But as a far as being a slave, I wouldn’t consider myself someone’s slave because I’ve never had a master [in my personal life], but I’ve had dominant men submit me.”

Of course, Kink’s The Upper Floor is a submissive girl’s dream experience, at least on the professional level. Has Holly joined this elite rank of performers?

“I just did a scene on Wednesday for them with James,” she answers with unmitigated excitement.

This girl is on board with her fetish. BDSM fans should check out some of her work.

Too Perfect all the Time

Orgasm and pain are worshipped on the BDSM alter because reaching that special nirvana requires practice, self-understanding, and a processing ability that zeros in on the relaxation necessary to to go with the flow. No tensing up in this play space or the scene collapses very fast and the pre-negotiated safe word will quickly wrap things up leading to disappointment and feelings of failure.

One of the best training grounds at Kink.com uses preparation in its name, The Training of O. The website is managed by one of the studio’s best directors, James Mogul. A prominent submissive who shot for him told me James is the master manipulator. He establishes a girl’s focus on the first day–the issue she wants to explore–and goes from there, building the next three days to address her goal or need. The shoots become a personal journey of self-discovery that for some girls is a once in a lifetime experience.

“I didn’t really know how to process the pain [though] I did a few shoots for Kink [before] I did Training of O in 2010,” Holly says. “Oddly enough [James honored] my request to better myself.”

Under the tutelage of James Mogul. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Under the tutelage of James Mogul.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

She explains that James’ grasp of psychology allowed him to get inside her head and satisfy her desire.

“I was like super vain and I told them [James and his assistant Maestro who participates sexually in TTO shoots] that I wanted to feel beautiful even in my most detrimental moments when I’m not beautiful, when I don’t think I am physically beautiful. They really helped me break that vainness. I thought you had to be pretty and be like a perfect statuesque-like person and that’s not the case.”

Holly furthers her honesty. “I felt like I just wanted to be too perfect all the time and I didn’t always want to feel like that. As a submissive you’re not going to be pretty every day.”

Holly talks about having “spit on your face” and other things “that make you look not physically attractive to what you may think is the [measure of] standard beauty.” She elaborates. “You need to learn that [how you look in training] is beautiful because that is what your Dominant thinks is beautiful and as a submissive I wanted to learn that, to understand that I am beautiful no matter what I look like.” Holly “wanted to be stripped” of the vanity that compelled her to always strive for physical attraction on camera.

In short, she sought maturity and an understanding that to be enticing and provocative has different faces in different situations.

As was customary in those days at Kink, Holly stayed in the Armory (their Mission District facility) where she had homework assignments in the evening after the shooting day was finished. Her four days of TTO were rewarding, she recalls, with Day Three the most difficult.

During that session she was naked and carrying wooden pallets, the sort of workout James would schedule for a girl with an athletic, toned body and a background of fitness. “I was strong enough to carry them,” Holly remembers proudly. The Kink team made certain that she was protected from injury, as is their protocol. Holly wore gloves and steel-toed boots. “But the humility of it,” she says, was the “pig’s tail anal plug” she had to endure and the name-calling, “piggy and all these different names affiliated with pigs.” It’s BDSM play, of course, designed to ignite the crackling fires of explosive pleasure.

Training with James: the zipper. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Training with James: the zipper.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

“I just broke down,” Holly recalls, “and was crying.” They caned her feet and used zippers (clothes pins on lengths of cord) as arousal techniques while the ever present Hitachi induced orgasms. The blonde submissive believes Kink affirms the classical conditioning theories of Ivan Pavlov. “You start to associate the pain with pleasure,” she states, “and you learn to process the pain with an orgasm.” It was an awesome experience.

You Belong to Them

Was this any sort of revelation, I ask?

Holly says she’s done two TTO shoots (an honor in a sense because James does not always do a repeat show with a girl). In the first episode, the pig play and taunting made an impression. I was “such a new sub,” she remembers, and “didn’t understand the logistics of the dom and sub relationship,” so it was a learning process.

As is the Kink custom, the final interview wrapped things up, but Holly was not finished at the Armory. The next day she was initiated into The Upper Floor, Kink’s live parties that take place in the Armory’s version of an English country house where slaves serve their masters. In 2010 being a house slave was a choice position at the company because it offered regular work for performers and is the pinnacle of BDSM play at Kink.

The Upper Floor slave. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The Upper Floor slave.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Reaching the achievement of “belong[ing] to the house,” Holly explains, means that “you belong to them. You will obey and do what they say if you want to be part of that and you’re going to be beautiful no matter what because they think it is beautiful.”

And, Holly Heart is grateful. “It took me years to get over that vanity,” but I “pushed through it” and “was a better submissive because I could serve,” she says with overwhelming pride.

The revelation is deafening because it’s the fetish that creates the loveliness in every submissive who must abandon her own self-definitions to achieve the non-judgmental pleasure she seeks. “I wasn’t thinking about myself because as a submissive and a slave you serve others. You don’t worry about you.”

What Holly means is what I’ve heard before. With serving comes liberation, a freedom and acceptance that results from going through trials and tribulations to prove to yourself how powerful you can be, a concept very foreign to the vanilla sexual world.

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Holly Heart is represented by Star Factory PR. They can be reached at 818-732-0191 or via email at Info@StarFactoryPR.com or StarFactoryPR.com

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