Tag Archives: James Mogul

Get Your Clothes and Go: Rain DeGrey, Part Three

by Rich Moreland, February 2015

Rain DeGrey and I have run over our alloted time in the press room but I’m curious about one more topic. How are girls at Kink are chosen for shoots and is the process the same at Intersec?

Rain in the press room. Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse

Rain in the press room.
Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse

At both companies, models are hand-picked for specific shoots. “The director says to a talent booker, ‘I want that girl.’ The booker can offer a selection, but the director is the one that makes the final choice [because certain models will] flavor their content.”

Rain emphasizes that to direct for Kink, riggers must rank above their competitors professionally. “I have nothing but praise for anyone who becomes a Kink director because that’s the cream of the crop.”

Most rigger/directors don’t stay at the Armory for lengthy careers. Circumstances vary, professional visions evolve, personal lives change. But no matter, it’s the legacy that counts.

James Mogul.  Photo courtesy of Kink.com

James Mogul.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

“Even if you cycle through the fact that you [were] on-screen means that you are bringing a level of skill that most people won’t even come close to approaching.”

Rain praises an all-star list of directors who choreographed her at Kink: Princess Donna, Lew Rubens, Lochai, Matt Williams, and James Mogul. “All of them [have] their own flavor. It is awe-inspiring what they can create and produce.”

In changing times and diminishing dollars, only James remains at the Armory out of that original group. The man is as much psychologist as rigger, Rain implies. “He is a genius, he is very intense, and you really need to be able to hang with what he is offering.”

Of course, good directors also have the privilege of good talent and Rain DeGrey is top of the line.

A Crush

Princess Donna. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Princess Donna.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

We turn to Princess Donna for a moment and Rain fills with energy. Her eyes light up and her gestures become more animated.

“Oh my god, she is insane!” Rains blurts out. “Wow, okay so I still have a crush on her. She is so charismatic and intense.”

Rain spins the tale of her first shoot with Donna, which incidentally was her first kinky porn scene for profit. She had just submitted her application.

Booked for Donna’s Wired Pussy site, Rain was nervous, explaining that she was “in the presence of someone” she admired so much that she was “shaking.” “I’m like tripping all over myself,” she says.

Sometimes first shoots can be daunting because eager to please overwhelms the atmosphere.

The scene called for a cattle prod with Rain on her hands and knees. Donna was firm about her expectations. “‘Now Rain, it is really simple. I’m going to hit you with this cattle prod and if you move, the shoot is over.'”

Rain was really nervous, after all cattle prods move huge beasts and she is much smaller than a 1500 pound animal. When the prod was applied, the newest Kink hopeful “lurched forward,” she remembers.

“Princess Donna was disgusted. ‘This is the level of talent they’re giving me! I can’t work with this! Get your clothes on and go.”

Run over by a truck she never saw, a confused and disappointed Rain retrieved her belongings. Kink was too demanding, this whole shooting idea was a disaster. “I had no idea I didn’t qualify to be a model,” she remembers thinking.

The Kink neophyte took two steps and was paralyzed by Donna’s commanding voice.

Donna gives the orders, Rain smiles. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Donna gives the orders, Rain smiles.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

“‘Where do you think you’re going?”

“Donna grabbed the back of my hair, flung me to the ground, and surprised fisted me. I’ve never been fisted in my life and [suddenly] I’m a Muppet!” a beaming Rain recalls.

After the shoot went online, the fans loved the performance, complimenting Rain’s acting. “I wasn’t really acting,” she sheepishly confesses. “I thought Donna cancelled the shoot because I sucked as a model.”

From there, a career was launched.

Rain comments that PD is no longer with Kink, attributing the change to shifting winds in the porn business model. Donna’s shoots were getting “more hardcore,” she explains, suggesting that the Fifty Shades phenomenon has led Kink to tone down its product. Rain guesses they are “going for a softer, more marketable base.”

In other words, Donna has authentic standards that aren’t the sappy Hollywood fare of Fifty Shades. Her expectations reflect her personal level of performance as a bottom. “But most people can’t do what Princess Donna can do,” Rains says, and sites like Public Disgrace were getting too extreme even for Kink.com. “She wasn’t able to turn back her directing style because she is directing from her passion and her heart.”

Try Something Once

Before we wrap up, Rain has one more story, this time about her Public Disgrace appearance. Up until that time, she had done very few boy-girl scenes, but “you just don’t say ‘no’ to the Princess.”

The situation was somewhat bizarre because an unexpected psychological role reversal took over the room.

The bar scene. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The bar scene.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Rain describes the scene. “I am completely naked in a bar full of strangers. They pour beer all over me, spit on me, and are dragging me by the hair into people’s faces.” As part of the shoot, Rain was required to ask everyone for their name.

She remembers that “every single person in that room was terrified of me. I would get up in someone’s face naked and covered in beer and spit and say, ‘Who are you?”

“I’m like, ‘Where is the disgracing? I own this room. My naked beer covered ass is terrorizing you!”

In other words, who was empowered in that bar? Who was in control?

Later Rain had anal intercourse on the pool table before PD “flipped” her on her back and fisted her and she “squirted all over” the felt surface. As an afterthought, Rain wondered what the pool playing patrons would think if they knew that twenty-four hours previously her porn body was sprawled all over that table!

The action on the pool table. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The action on the pool table.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

As we close, Rain pauses to convey her philosophy of shooting adult film.

“You are only on this planet once and your body is the greatest toy that you well ever have and some people are afraid to play with it. I’d rather try something once and not like it than be on my deathbed and think of all the things I’d wish I had the courage to try.”

“I don’t live my life for anyone other than me. When you stop [worrying about] what other people think, [you have] absolute freedom. You only have a finite amount of time and I want to use the time I have [well].”

“That is why I am here today.”

*          *          *

Adult film is a potpourri of personalities and Rain DeGrey’s carries an amusing, and sometimes scalding, wit that fires a flurry of stories with the rapidity of a machine gun nest. When you think she is finished, she’s always has another round.

Below is the hilarious finish to her Public Disgrace shoot. It’s a behind the scenes look at the trip back to the Armory. I cleaned up the language where appropriate.

Oh, My Knee

Steve Holmes is an ethnic German born in Romania who performs frequently at Kink. He’s no youngster, having been in the adult business for almost thirty years.

According to Rain, Steve is “such a pervert” with a sex drive in overload. He’s a “swinger” who got into porn because “he wasn’t getting enough” at home. She relates a story about a clip he made that reveals his extraordinary ability.

In the scene, Steve’s got “this little eighteen year old girl and he’s going to do the pop shot on her face,” Rain says. “It’s like her first shoot and she dodges the pop.” Things are now fouled up from a production point of view, the ending is ruined. What to do?

“Most dudes when they’re fifty cum once and it’s go sit in a corner. Steve is like ‘no problem give me a moment.’ Fifteen seconds later he ejaculated, holding her little head so she couldn’t dodge it this time. He was like ‘come here you little cum dodger and whoosh!”

“This man is a genius, how can you not respect that?”

On the day of her Public Disgrace shoot, Steve was at the Armory. He had just finished a Sex and Submission shoot, Rain remembers. Meanwhile, Princess Donna’s cast and crew are preparing to depart for the bar in a company van.

Steve Holmes and friend ready for SexandSubmission. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Steve Holmes and friend ready for SexandSubmission.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Rain was ready to go, walking through the Armory “wearing two Band-Aids and a cork, five pounds of make up obviously off to [have sex],” she says. Steve “is hanging out in the lobby” and asks what is on her agenda.

“‘Nothing. Just off to do Public Disgrace.'”

“‘Oh great! Can I come?'”

Rain shrugs and comments that “Steve likes to relax after [having sex] all day by [having sex] all night.”

“So we are in the van off to the Public Disgrace shoot and not only is he about to [have sex] with me just because he had nothing else to do that night, he’ll actual [have sex] with his fans.”

When the shoot is over, everyone is jammed into the van and headed back to the Armory. Steve, who uses all his social media accounts to chat with his fans, makes contact with a woman who wants to have sex with him. She’s a forty-five-year-old African-American truck driver in a knee brace. It is now one-thirty in the morning and the fan shows up.

“We are tired and exhausted and lube is trickling out of my butt,” Rain recalls. The fan is just getting wound up. “‘Now it’s time to party!'” she announces.

“This is the highlight of her night, [but] we’re a van full of bored, tired porn stars [who] are all ready to go to bed,” Rain says, so the evening isn’t going to be extended.

Disappointment sets in and the fan caves, “Oh well.” But there remains a small problem. “‘My knee. You’ll need to give me a ride home,'” she insists.

“Fine, we’ll give her a ride home so she climbs in with the knee brace and gets to Steve and starts giving instructions [to her house]. ‘Two blocks [gurgling sound] go left [gurgling sound]’ and I’m convinced she is giving bad directions to drag out the time.”

“We get there and start pushing her out of the van and she is like ‘Would you like to meet my son?'”

No! And the lady is dropped off. Everyone is tired and armed with the same thought “‘Steve, you have got to stop with the fans, you’re killing us.'”

“Five minutes later we get a phone call that she left her purse in the van. I have to pee at this point and I’m sitting in a pool of butt lube ready to kill Steve.”

“We have to turn around, give her back her purse. . . Anyway, Steve is insatiable and that was my Public Disgrace.”

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Bent in Half: Part Two of an Interview with Holly Heart

by Rich Moreland, February 2015

Holly Heart is a native Californian and veteran of adult film. In her early thirties, she is now a popular MILF performer working regularly for LA’s Porn Valley studios. Her fetish resume is highlighted by her one hundred plus shoots for Kink.com. Holly is one of their most sought after BDSM models.

Our interview continues.

*          *          *          *          *

Shooting as a BDSM submissive in adult film can be just another booking or an authentic experience, depending on the model. For some girls who make the transition into the real deal, psychological and emotional changes take place that can be a slow rising tide or a sudden bolt of lightning. My interviews with Kink.com submissives reveal that pathways awakened to discovery are very personal as illustrated in two earlier posts on this blog, Casey Calvert and Dylan Ryan.

Holly Heart now joins these performers, putting her own spin on her transformation.

The Milk Bucket

A self-assurance emerged after Holly’s shoot with James Mogul’s TTO.

“When I started doing live scenes like The Upper Floor [and] being in front of an audience doing what they are telling me to do, I started to get this slave confidence that I could obey, confidence that I could be prestigious, that I could do what I’m told in a timely manner.”

Inspiration lights up Holly’s eyes as she describes her transformation. Her intensity increases and she borders on proselytization, reinforcing my belief that BDSM adherents have their own faith, a kind of conversion that leads to peace and an affirmation of their minds and bodies.

“That’s when I started to really feel it,” she says. “It’s almost like the unknown is gone and now you can really be what you want to be because what was clouding you has been removed. Only a submissive in the BDSM community can really understand it [and] you have so much fun doing it.”

Holly has expanded her Kink experiences. Over “the last five years,” she declares, her life has “changed dramatically” because of them.

“It’s made me more respectful, it’s made me a kinder, more compassionate person, more understanding and I’m really grateful for that [and] for the community [and] for all the people that had the patience to teach me.”

Holly on Device Bondage. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Holly on Device Bondage.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Holly praises Matt Williams. “He was so gracious with me. He was my first Dom ever.” Her initial shoot was for Device Bondage, the Kink website Matt directed at the time. To make her experience proceed well, Matt employed Rain DeGrey be on the set for Holly’s live show.

“I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was I had read books about bondage and I wanted to be a slave. It enticed me, it was glorifying to me to be a slave, to be on that pedestal, just to be there and be a part of that. To be available for service is just hot and sexy! It just feels good!”

Holly dips into an amusing episode during the shoot: the crew put some hot sauce between her legs.

“I was sweaty and writhing and it was so painful! At the end of the shoot I’m thinking, ‘Oh, hot sauce on your tongue? Get some milk.’ Rain brings me two buckets of milk and I’m sitting in them during the [post-shoot] interview. That was my introduction to BDSM,” she laughs.

Years later Holly came to understand that she’s “a freaking masochist,” as she puts it. More live shoots at Kink, which she characterizes as “a really amazing experience and a really amazing journey,” reinforced that new sexual self-definition.

In it’s own way, perhaps BDSM is religious-like, certainly it’s emotional impact on those who love it is intense.

Subspace

It’s time to talk about something I like to bring up in these kinds of conversation: mindfucks.

Holly smiles broadly and tells me she has two great stories she will share.

“I was afraid of the hot sauce. In my head I knew that the sauce was never going to be there again because it was on my “no” list (like everyone in the BDSM community, professional or amateur, Kink honors a submissive’s hard limits, those things that are off the board in a shoot.)

“I was on the set with Lochai for Hogtied many years ago (Lochai has since left the company and now resides in Baltimore). He tied me up to a wall with my legs and arms spread with a bowling ball crotch harness attached to me. Then he had a zipper (cord with clothespins) on my tits and stomach.”

Lochai, whose personality is humor built on a flair for rigging that is widely respected in the community, pulls out a bottle.

“I don’t know what it is,” Holly relates, “but for some reason I thought it was the sauce. I got really scared and [in my eyes] you can see the fear. He sprays my face with it and it was baby oil!” Lochai is playing the mental dodge ball that spices up his shoots.

“He sprays my whole body and rips off the zipper. I was so thinking about the sauce that my mind was in a whole other place that I didn’t even feel the zipper!”

Holly then offers an example of subspace in a recent Sexually Broken episode for Real Time Bondage, a current Matt Williams site. She describes  being “bent in half” with arms and legs tied down. Matt and his associate Jackhammer are penetrating her mouth and vagina, “just back and forth, back and forth, no-stop simultaneously,” she says.

Bent in half. Photo courtesy of Intersec.com

Bent in half.
Photo courtesy of Intersec.com

“I literally went into this complete moment of subspace where nothing existed. It was like a perfect moment where I only thought of that moment and my brain tuned out and my body just went completely limp. It was like I never wanted that feeling to stop. It’s an addiction.” She adds a cautionary note. “Because they are professionals,” the director and crew recognize when a girl is closing in on that psychological dreamland.

Should a submissive teeter near the edge, monitoring her emotional balance takes over. “They know that you are zoning out and you are going to pass out any second because you feel so good.” But Holly understands she is safe because the filming will stop if a dangerous turn in the road is coming up.

Incidentally, subspace often prohibits a submissve from using her safeword. Some models tell me they self-monitor during filming to avoid losing control so they will not be accidentally injured. Casey Calvert, for example, reserves subspace for her private life, preferring to maintain total awareness when working professionally.

Bear in mind, Holly Heart is a veteran BDSMer. This is not Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s a community of people who understand and appreciate their fetishes and are careful in their play. She joins the best professional submissives I’ve written about such as Madison Young, Casey Calvert, Rain DeGrey, and Dylan Ryan who are very aware of the sensitive nature of subspace.

Holly ranks the Sexually Broken shoot among her best. “It was the most amazing experience, especially being in the community now for so long.” This California girl understands she is able to put herself in that situation and, as she says, “really feel the utmost pleasure and not be afraid.”

Reading the Body

Holly and I have something in common, sports. As a former triathlete and marathoner, I bring up the “runner’s high” that causes the endurance athlete to transcend the stress of the race. Her interest sparked, Holly mentions adrenaline. “I love to run, too, and I get that runner’s high.” Like yours truly, Holly is also a weightlifter to go along with her aerobic fitness and it shows in her taut body that, by the way, serves her well in another line of Kink shoots she loves, Ultimate Surrender, girl wrestling that ends in good sex. The site is widely (and wildly) popular among Kink models and is shot before a live audience.

Before the match. The competitors: Holly, Audry Rose, Bryn Blaine, and Rain DeGrey. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Before the match. The competitors: Holly, Audrey Rose, Bryn Blaine, and Rain DeGrey.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Holly promotes the feel good aspect of working out.

“I think we need to express that to people unfamiliar with [the benefits of exercise]. You can get this natural high from your body that is actually good and its not going to harm you, its actually going to be better for your life.”

During the match the audience looks on. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

During the match the audience looks on.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

This avid sports girl then makes a quick transition to demystify BDSM. “We’re not hurting each other when we are doing corporal punishment. We know the body’s limit. We educate ourselves on [changes in skin color for blood flow] and the way a person writhes when they are getting spanked, caned, or flogged. Reading the body language, eye contact, facial expressions, that is what makes a professional dominant so good.”

Fetish education is integral to the BDSM community, Holly explains. “If we could get the world to understand that, then the world may be more open to it.”

*          *          *          *          *

Part Three of my interview with this extraordinary woman is coming next. She’ll discuss switching and learning from Kink’s Princess Donna.

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Vanity Stripped Away: Part One of an Interview with Holly Heart

by Rich Moreland, February, 2015

Rarely have I had the pleasure of interviewing a performer who comes close to Holly Heart. This sultry blonde and I speak a mutual language and I’m happy to say her enthusiasm leaps through the words of our conversation. In the all-too-short time together we had at the 2015 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, she was so ardent in our pre-interview chat that I abandoned my prepared notes so we could focus on her passion for the fetish play that dances around the proprieties of vanilla America.

Be it known that Holly Heart is no missionary position porn girl who delicately wades into sexual experimentation. She revels in her fetishes, learns from them, and has achieved a personal satisfaction that flummoxes those whose erotic proclivities remain closeted. Holly has discovered the rarest of treasures: liberation and strength gained through a sexual awakening.

Overcoming her BDSM fears and the reticence they created, Holly is receiving her bondage merits, or hard-won marks (pun intended), with a determination that elevates serving to its highest honor. It’s an achievement reserved for a few of the brightest stars who entertain BDSM fans with a zealotry unseen in run-of-the-mill adult film.

A Submissive Person

Holly Heart makes her mark in our interview. Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

Holly Heart makes her mark in our interview.
Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

To get us started, I ask Holly to define her BDSM self.

She runs through submissive, bottom, and masochist, then adds, “I am a submissive person, but not all submissives are masochists.” Agreed. As Bobbi Starr once told me, many subs want to please, others get off on pain.

Holly quickly delves into her own story. “I happen to be a masochist. I love pain.” She explains that her self-definition goes back to her early shoots with Kink.com, the San Francisco porn company run by Peter Acworth, where a handful of directors that include James Mogul and Matt Williams (who now runs Intersec across the bay in Oakland), guided her along.

You are a slave in bondage play?

“[The Kink directors] helped me explore what I like as a masochist and that was so awesome for me. But as a far as being a slave, I wouldn’t consider myself someone’s slave because I’ve never had a master [in my personal life], but I’ve had dominant men submit me.”

Of course, Kink’s The Upper Floor is a submissive girl’s dream experience, at least on the professional level. Has Holly joined this elite rank of performers?

“I just did a scene on Wednesday for them with James,” she answers with unmitigated excitement.

This girl is on board with her fetish. BDSM fans should check out some of her work.

Too Perfect all the Time

Orgasm and pain are worshipped on the BDSM alter because reaching that special nirvana requires practice, self-understanding, and a processing ability that zeros in on the relaxation necessary to to go with the flow. No tensing up in this play space or the scene collapses very fast and the pre-negotiated safe word will quickly wrap things up leading to disappointment and feelings of failure.

One of the best training grounds at Kink.com uses preparation in its name, The Training of O. The website is managed by one of the studio’s best directors, James Mogul. A prominent submissive who shot for him told me James is the master manipulator. He establishes a girl’s focus on the first day–the issue she wants to explore–and goes from there, building the next three days to address her goal or need. The shoots become a personal journey of self-discovery that for some girls is a once in a lifetime experience.

“I didn’t really know how to process the pain [though] I did a few shoots for Kink [before] I did Training of O in 2010,” Holly says. “Oddly enough [James honored] my request to better myself.”

Under the tutelage of James Mogul. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Under the tutelage of James Mogul.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

She explains that James’ grasp of psychology allowed him to get inside her head and satisfy her desire.

“I was like super vain and I told them [James and his assistant Maestro who participates sexually in TTO shoots] that I wanted to feel beautiful even in my most detrimental moments when I’m not beautiful, when I don’t think I am physically beautiful. They really helped me break that vainness. I thought you had to be pretty and be like a perfect statuesque-like person and that’s not the case.”

Holly furthers her honesty. “I felt like I just wanted to be too perfect all the time and I didn’t always want to feel like that. As a submissive you’re not going to be pretty every day.”

Holly talks about having “spit on your face” and other things “that make you look not physically attractive to what you may think is the [measure of] standard beauty.” She elaborates. “You need to learn that [how you look in training] is beautiful because that is what your Dominant thinks is beautiful and as a submissive I wanted to learn that, to understand that I am beautiful no matter what I look like.” Holly “wanted to be stripped” of the vanity that compelled her to always strive for physical attraction on camera.

In short, she sought maturity and an understanding that to be enticing and provocative has different faces in different situations.

As was customary in those days at Kink, Holly stayed in the Armory (their Mission District facility) where she had homework assignments in the evening after the shooting day was finished. Her four days of TTO were rewarding, she recalls, with Day Three the most difficult.

During that session she was naked and carrying wooden pallets, the sort of workout James would schedule for a girl with an athletic, toned body and a background of fitness. “I was strong enough to carry them,” Holly remembers proudly. The Kink team made certain that she was protected from injury, as is their protocol. Holly wore gloves and steel-toed boots. “But the humility of it,” she says, was the “pig’s tail anal plug” she had to endure and the name-calling, “piggy and all these different names affiliated with pigs.” It’s BDSM play, of course, designed to ignite the crackling fires of explosive pleasure.

Training with James: the zipper. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Training with James: the zipper.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

“I just broke down,” Holly recalls, “and was crying.” They caned her feet and used zippers (clothes pins on lengths of cord) as arousal techniques while the ever present Hitachi induced orgasms. The blonde submissive believes Kink affirms the classical conditioning theories of Ivan Pavlov. “You start to associate the pain with pleasure,” she states, “and you learn to process the pain with an orgasm.” It was an awesome experience.

You Belong to Them

Was this any sort of revelation, I ask?

Holly says she’s done two TTO shoots (an honor in a sense because James does not always do a repeat show with a girl). In the first episode, the pig play and taunting made an impression. I was “such a new sub,” she remembers, and “didn’t understand the logistics of the dom and sub relationship,” so it was a learning process.

As is the Kink custom, the final interview wrapped things up, but Holly was not finished at the Armory. The next day she was initiated into The Upper Floor, Kink’s live parties that take place in the Armory’s version of an English country house where slaves serve their masters. In 2010 being a house slave was a choice position at the company because it offered regular work for performers and is the pinnacle of BDSM play at Kink.

The Upper Floor slave. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The Upper Floor slave.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Reaching the achievement of “belong[ing] to the house,” Holly explains, means that “you belong to them. You will obey and do what they say if you want to be part of that and you’re going to be beautiful no matter what because they think it is beautiful.”

And, Holly Heart is grateful. “It took me years to get over that vanity,” but I “pushed through it” and “was a better submissive because I could serve,” she says with overwhelming pride.

The revelation is deafening because it’s the fetish that creates the loveliness in every submissive who must abandon her own self-definitions to achieve the non-judgmental pleasure she seeks. “I wasn’t thinking about myself because as a submissive and a slave you serve others. You don’t worry about you.”

What Holly means is what I’ve heard before. With serving comes liberation, a freedom and acceptance that results from going through trials and tribulations to prove to yourself how powerful you can be, a concept very foreign to the vanilla sexual world.

*          *          *          *          *

Holly Heart is represented by Star Factory PR. They can be reached at 818-732-0191 or via email at Info@StarFactoryPR.com or StarFactoryPR.com

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Far From Where You Are

Madison Young, Daddy: A Memoir
Rare Bird Books, 328 pages.

by Rich Moreland, May 2014

“Daddy’s cane was lightly tracing up and down the landscape of her quivering body. I recognized her internal conflict: the desire for so much sensation that you are carried away to somewhere far from where you are, while your psyche is rubbing against its edge. Sarah slowly, bravely nodded her head . . . .

I stood up in the corner that Daddy put me in . . . and walked toward Sarah, bringing my face close to hers, stroking her hair and putting my hand on her shoulder.

‘You need to breathe, Sarah. Don’t let the sensation control you, let it flow through you. . . . Recognize it as a gift.’

She was still just a girl, only twenty-four, and I felt threatened by her . . . I tried to disregard my fears of being replaced for a younger, newer make and model.

‘Too bad you can’t come without penetration. Isn’t that right, Slut?’ Daddy taunted her and their connection made my skin crawl. I don’t want to be in the room for her orgasm.

‘Cock please, Sir . . .’

Her words drifted into the hallway as I walked away, down the long corridor, until they were only a faint buzzing of syllables behind Beethoven’s quartets.”

Madison Young, from Daddy: A Memoir. Pages 221-223.

*          *          *          *          *

In writing Daddy: A Memoir, Madison Young reveals that we are a collection of psychological constructs that shape our loves, biases, and communities, be they social, religious, political, recreational, or in this case, familial and sexual.madison 4

Madison’s search for Daddy is a reconciliation of two men in her life, first her Ohio father and later her West Coast lover, BDSM dominant, James Mogul. But Daddy is greater than any one person, as Madison’s odyssey tells us.

The book is well-written with a brisk pace that moves the reader through Madison’s conservative Midwestern childhood to her sexual awakening in California’s sunny liberalism. Daddy is a personal experience with a bit of salacious writing tossed in to give the reader a look at adult film’s fetish and bondage community.

The Quiet Girl
The early pages of Daddy recount the anxieties that plagued Madison’s adolescence. The drama surrounding a dysfunctional family crippled by an absent father and an embittered mother brings the reader into her Ohio youth.

A spattering of dark humor flavors an atmosphere of brutal honesty. At age four Madison believes the word prostitute sounds like “a church or a deadly disease,” and she later characterizes the internet porn edifice Kink.com, where she films as a BDSM submissive, as “a bubble of myopic disillusions.”

The Quiet Girl: Cultural Hero, Art Curator, Sex Activist  Photo source unknown

The Quiet Girl: Cultural Hero, Art Curator, Sex Activist
Photo courtesy of Lydia Daniller

In truth, Daddy is more than a family father or a sexual guru in the bondage and discipline community Madison loves so much. A mystical animus living within Madison’s inner child, Daddy is older than the Little Girl who seeks him out. A lover who disciplines his pet, Daddy secures her from the vagaries of personal apprehensions and trepidations.

What initially captured my interest is the book’s dedication to the “quiet girl in the corner.” Sexual submissiveness can blossom in the nondescript students who sit in classrooms or eschew the anxieties of social gatherings. A female friend who markets sex toys once told me that the women most likely to purchase bondage gear at her seminars are the unnoticed ones in the back of the room, shy and very discreet.

Sins of Non-Conformity
Growing into puberty, Madison remembers that porn sex was considered “shameful,” rendering her fantasies as forbidden. In junior high, she kept her “eyes cast down” sensing that she didn’t belong. Gawky and self-conscious, Madison became a “natural target” for the taunts of other kids. Spawned by such cruelty, inadequacies haunted her until the emotional tools to confront her demons emerged.

Out of this battle of self-preservation comes her interpretation of Daddy—a concept, a spirit, a need, a belief—that no one individual in Madison’s life can completely fulfill.

For all children, there are turning points that define sexual journeys. Madison’s occurred in church. The preacher condemned adultery, prostitution, and homosexuality as “sins of non-conformity.” What is a girl who knows she is different to do? Create her own “imaginary community” that spurs a search for happiness? An eventual good-bye to Loveland, Ohio, followed, leaving behind an unfulfilled longing for the traditional family and its Daddy.

The Castro, San Francisco’s gay community, becomes Madison’s Mecca. With a realization that she is among the “outsiders” who sought “refuge” in California’s Left Coast sexual Disneyland, her search for Daddy expands. Is her mentor a leather man, a rigger (a technician whose rope talents satisfy the cravings of bondage models), a dominant, a master, or perhaps a leatherdyke? Madison is unsure, but realizes she needs someone to take control and comfort her inner “Little Girl.”

A Dignified Whore
Madison Young loves rope and discovers porn’s Kink.com, the San Francisco bondage empire of Peter Acworth. The company becomes another Daddy, providing the ecstasy and the agony of Madison’s SF existence. She does her first shoot for Kink and proudly announces, “If rope didn’t lead to my daddy, I didn’t know what would.”

Madison Young loves rope and discovers porn’s Kink.com, the San Francisco bondage empire of Peter Acworth. The company becomes another Daddy, providing the ecstasy and the agony of Madison’s SF existence. She does her first shoot for Kink and proudly announces, “If rope didn’t lead to my daddy, I didn’t know what would.”

A cathartic yellow brick road to a BDSM OZ, Daddy’s magic is more than a memoir; it’s a cross between a novella and a history. Gauge, a girlfriend lost, and James Mogul, a Daddy gained, shape Madison’s writing. A swirl of honesty and jealousy filters through her words sparking sympathy at some points and admonishment at others.

James Mogul Photo source unknown

James Mogul
Photo source unknown

Insights abound within the pages of Daddy. Madison’s close friendship with performers Bobbi Starr and Lorelei Lee, and her gut-wrenching jealousy toward a bondage model metaphorically named Sarah Chasm enliven the narrative. Madison’s accounts of L.A.’s San Fernando Valley, “the depressing landscape” of the “mainstream porn industry,” while characterizing Kink.com as the “pornification and appropriation of the BDSM community for mass consumption and commercial gain” make this book a fascinating read.

Doubts engulf Madison as she uses adult film to fund her beloved art gallery, Femina Potens, whose future is doomed by high rents. She engages in a bit of self-imposed slut-shaming when she declares her income “felt like dirty whore money” earned by a “sexual outlaw in a corporation system.”

Madison in a Kink scene with James. Photo courtesy of The Training of O.

Madison in a Kink scene with James.
Photo courtesy of The Training of O.

Though her assessment of the adult industry is not always positive, Madison Young gives the reader moments of triumph. For example, confessing she sometimes feels like “a dignified whore,” Madison takes pride in being a Spiegler Girl (the performer agency for whom she worked), characterizing Spiegler models as “smart, self-reliant, and responsible.”

Because Madison Young is a woman of rich diversification, to stay on the Daddy message shortchanges much of who she is beyond a narrowly defined fetish performer. Understandable, but I want Madison to explore her time at Antioch College and her discovery of sex-positive feminism. Madison is a cultural hero of pansexualism, sexual masochism, and the queer porn community (particularly San Francisco’s Queer Porn Mafia) whose status is rising in this new century. She devotes deserved space to Femina Potens, to art and performance art, but what of her many honors at Toronto’s groundbreaking Feminist Porn Awards?

She is far more than the vulnerable Little Girl that Daddy presents.

When chroniclers examine the history of adult film in the twenty-first century, Madison Young will be feted. With Daddy, she has only broken the surface of her legendary status. Hopefully, this multitalented and intellectually brilliant queen of kink is considering a second book.

The Power Within
The beauty of Madison’s narrative is its contradiction. She attempts to reconcile all her varied families from Ohio to Femina Potens to Kink.com, but they are too kaleidoscopic for a clean, well-lighted heroic image immersed in a tale of sharply drawn parameters.

And, of course, there are her personal Daddies with their battles and foibles, who, like Madison, search to find their own definition of self.

Feeding Emma Photo source unknown

Feeding a budding feminist.
Photo courtesy of Madison Young

In the end, Madison seeks the power within to move forward. The birth of daughter Emma, a uniting force and an overwhelming gift, offers the metaphorical beginning.

Finally the reader is left with the overarching question the book presents. Who or what is Daddy: a religious-like spirit that dwells within all of us, a guide to find our way from infancy to maturity, the cycle of civilization, or simply a deep emotional need?

Or, perhaps Daddy is the community that secures us, as rope binds Madison to something greater to serve. Through that service she tells us that who we are is a fluid evolution and an enlightened journey that ceases only with our final breath.

*          *          *          *          *

By the way, don’t neglect the book’s forward by Madison’s porn-art mother and sex-positive icon, Annie Sprinkle. Her words set the tone for Madison’s story.

And, should you purchase Daddy, which I highly recommend, go for the paperback version. I did not and, like Madison and her rope, I miss the touch, feel, and smell of something I can hold in my hands and put on a shelf.

Peace.

 

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Part 2: Moments with Tara Lynn Foxx

by Rich Moreland, April 2014

Here is the second part of my work with Tara Lynn Foxx a few years ago. Over the last thirty years, adult film feminists have redefined sexual pleasure for themselves and to their own satisfaction. TLF is doing this every day, taking control of what pleases her. Among her turn-ons is her submissiveness and BDSM fans are forever appreciative. At websites like Kink.com they can see their favorite blonde pursuing what she loves.

I first met Tara at Kink and have adored her performances and her personality ever since. But a word of caution is advised. A friend of hers saw a Kink shoot Tara did when she first entered the business. Thinking she was objectified and abused, he reacted with alarm. Far from being degrading or humiliating, Tara assured him the performance was fun and rewarding. This is the nature of BDSM, a fetish that is perplexing for many. So, read on and find out who this porn charmer really is, at least from her submissive side.

*          *          *          *          *

Before we go further, here’s a photo from the 2014 Adult Video News’ Award Show Red Carpet. Like the old sideshow barker on the carnival midway and the hustler outside the strip club, this is to get you in the front door. We’re going to play bait and switch because glamor is not on the agenda at Kink as you shall see in the article I penned in 2011!

Stunning. Photo by Bill Knight for 3hattergrindhouse.com

Stunning.
Photo by Bill Knight for 3hattergrindhouse.com

“Bondage, Ball Gags, and the Castle”
Rich Moreland, June 2011.

Gonzo queen, interracial hottie, vanilla starlet? Take your pick when (go)ogling Tara Lynn Foxx. But, be sure to add BDSM kinkster to your shopping list of TLF pics and vids you want to see. Tara is a sexy bottom (if you’re not a BDSMer, bottom is a submissive with added nuances) who can “rule” a bondage shoot, flipping her submissiveness into a feminist attitude of empowerment that marks her (pun intended for BDSM fans) as an emerging star in adult film kink.

A little sassiness before shooting for Ultimatesurrender.com Photo courtesy of Kink.com

A little impertinence before shooting for Ultimatesurrender.com
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Tara’s visits to San Francisco’s Kink.com porn edifice, affectionately known as the Castle, are repeated homecomings. As of this writing, she’s shot over fifty times for Peter Acworth and has a particular fondness for two of the Armory’s repertoire of websites—ultimatesurrender.com, all-girl wrestling in front of an audience, and hogtied.com., the company’s original bondage site.

Ultimatesurrender is “my favorite right now,” Tara says. Not surprising, the girl is competitive.

Bondage shoots beg for good directors and Kink has them. So, who tops Tara’s list?

Her first love was Hogtied’s Lochai who has since returned to his native Baltimore. “Sweet and very caring,” is how she describes him. His replacement Matt is high on her list now.

Working with Matt. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Working with Matt.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Tara adores Princess Donna, whom she amusingly characterizes as a pervert, and Isis Love, a close friend Tara trusts. “She knows how to push my boundaries in a good way,” Tara says of Isis.

Ississ Love applies the flogger to our darling. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Isis Love applies the flogger to our darling.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Wait a minute, how does a porn girl define “pervert?”

Perverts “have naughty thoughts,” Tara says, responding to my interruption of our conversation, “and are not afraid to share them.”

“They love sex as much I do,” she adds.

TLF flashes that impish smile again. “I’m a perv ‘cause I think dirty things and then act on them!”

Makes sense to me. Now back to Kink’s webmasters.

“I really like all the directors to be honest with you,” she says. “I love a lot of their sites so it’s hard to pick favorites.”

In bondage and ball gag scenes, confidence among the players frames a sexually hot experience. A director wants to seduce a restrained model into ethereal moments of ecstasy. That means eliminating doubt and hesitation.

A superb dominant can lure a sub into a space-time continuum, referred to as “subspace” or “mindspace,” that shapes the eroticism of a BDSM experience. The inner journey is reflected in a model’s eyes and Tara’s entice the camera with a tantalizing vulnerability.

I ask TLF to comment on a Kink shoot she did with Wolf Hudson, a much-admired performer who divides his time between hetero and gay filming. Tara’s scene with Wolf was one of the steamiest I’ve witnessed in BDSM film.

“I know Wolf and love him as a person,” Tara says. “He’s really cool, he’s very talented, and his dick is amazing.”

The shoot was for the Training of O website. Tara was tied, legs spread, warmed up with some flogging and ready for penetration. Wolf worked the scene slowly. As he nestled his lips near hers, Tara gazed into his eyes before retreating deeper into subspace. Her head tilted just enough for that succumbing “fuck me” look Kink members pay to see.

“We had really great chemistry,” Tara remembers, brightening in recognition of a memorable experience. “I felt so comfortable with him, I think that really showed.”

Indeed it did.

The scene was condom friendly and for Tara that ensured her personal satisfaction. There is no cajoling at the Armory to eschew safer sex.

“I was able to relax and really have sex,” she comments.

In the porn universe, there is a distinction between sex and “real” sex. The first is a paycheck; the second is pleasure rewarded with a paycheck.

Tara reinforces what I’ve heard repeatedly among adult performers. Having “real sex” is all too rare. “You don’t get to do that a lot on camera,” she explains, “you really have to get comfortable fast.” Waiting on the set creates a need to move forward when the time is ripe to sustain the emotions for good sex.

Ready and Waiting Real Sex. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Ready and waiting for real sex with a condom while James checks his agenda.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Of course, condoms are the prescription for the sweet and salty of “real sex.” Anal is now routine and the question of what co-stars did the night before and with whom they did it with is always in the back of a girl’s mind when the penetration moment arrives. For Tara, condoms spell relief and elevate the connections she seeks with favorite performers.

The Girl Likes to be Punished, Sometimes . . .

I’m curious about the punishment segments of her BDSM shoots and reference the T of O episode under James Mogul’s direction. Mogul’s a master psychologist, tough on models, keeping them off balance emotionally to probe their inner sexual core. And he uses his whips with efficiency.

James likes scenes to constantly evolve under his orchestration. “[He] just kept the shoot going,” Tara recalled, and “kept me on my toes because I had to think fast.” James’ style is to pose lots of questions and demand immediate answers.

“If I didn’t answer, then I would get punished,” she says.

But hey, sweetheart, you’re a hot sensuous bondage model with a fan following, what do you expect?

“Yeah, I like to get punished,” Tara concedes with a slight giggle, “but not all the time!”

She confesses that she was naïve about the BDSM community, “almost stupid,” when she ran headlong into James. A newbie to bondage play, Tara quickly got an education.

Having seen James at work, I can appreciate TLF’s next point. “He kept me feeling safe,” she says.

Precaution is a hallmark of James’ directing, as it is in every Kink production. A Kink episode is stressful and draining on a model; it can be intimidating and painful if she is a novice to BDSM play. But with James and the other directors, a baby in a blanket could not be more secure than a performer in their hands.

Sound like fun? Before you get out a flogger or cane to induce a little playtime with your lover, keep in mind it’s more than just a stroke or two on the canvass of back or butt.

Getting into her head. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Getting into her head.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Pay attention perverts and listen to Tara.

Here’s Why . . .

Working at Kink is a “mindfuck.”

Tara is upfront and direct. “Anybody can sit there and whip you with a flogger, but for me to get pleasure out of it you have to really be in my head.” The Kink pathway into the brain is tactile and verbal; directors caress and talk to the models during shoots.

“The things they do to us are more painful when they’re in our heads. At the same time, when they’re in our heads the pain gets turned into pleasure,” Tara affirms.

Princess Donna Photo courtesy of Kink.com

Princess Donna
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

It’s a process and Tara comments that Princess Donna is a fascinating example of how it is accomplished. She is a champion at inducing models to “feel what she is doing” and making certain they are sky-high with the seduction of bondage play. Donna is “intriguing” Tara adds, because BDSM is her personal lifestyle.

Failure to guide a bottom through the transition into “subspace” defeats the experience of BDSM play. “If they’re not in my head,” Tara is adamant, “it’s just going to be pain and I’m not into it or them.”

Tara relishes her submissiveness; however, to be a good bottom is to be demanding. She knows that her pleasure is cerebral. If the shoot isn’t working for her, she will mentally invert the scene. “I actually feel dominant over them,” she remarks, adding that if her tops can’t induce the “mindfuck,” then her feistiness vaporizes her “subspace.”

My bet is that in time TLF will follow well-known Kink subs like Bobbi Starr, Dana DeArmond, and Lorelei Lee who now “switch” (shoot as doms) for Acworth. All three are feminists, as is Princess Donna by the way, and Tara’s sassiness mirrors theirs. TLF has learned from the best to get what she wants.

The ball gag and Lorelei Lee waiting in the background. Photo courtesy of Kink.com

The ball gag and Lorelei Lee waiting in the background.
Photo courtesy of Kink.com

There’s more I could tell you like how our sweetie sizzles with a huge ball gag between her pouty lips and what a lovely gape shot she had in a Kink shoot with the aforementioned Lorelei Lee. For now I’ll relate what Tara appreciates about filming in the City by the Bay.

It’s being in the Spanish Revival fortress on Mission Street, reveling in its Victorian architecture and socializing with the terrific people who work there. It is home. Tara popped her bondage cherry with her first Kink shoot and she’s been loved there ever since.

“One of my favorite things about going to the Castle is bumping into Peter,” she says. “He is just so . . . words don’t describe that man. But I love getting a hug from him.”

I'm not Peter, but the hug is the same! Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

The author is no Peter Acworth, but the hug is the same!
Photo courtesy of 3hattergrindhouse.com

How the little things make a difference!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be sure to visit Tara Lynn Foxx’s blog. It can be found here.

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Pretty Girl

by Rich Moreland, September, 2013

The Collar Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

The Collar on Pretty Girl
Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

Kink.com’s The Training of O (TTOO) website is the purview of James Mogul, a kinky director whose personas are flexible and guaranteed to bring out the best in any girl who shoots for him.

In James’ mind, all new girls are to be treated with caution and care. His plan for a performer named Casey Calvert is no different. But in fact, James soon discovers that she is quite different. Casey’s sexual masochism becomes his welcome playground and a carnal delight for TTOO viewers.

In crafting a rewarding experience for her, James takes one of Casey’s self-confessed shortcomings and turns it into a project. Her four days at Kink’s castle in San Francisco will convince this seemingly shy young woman that she is indeed a “pretty girl.”

The first three days are an exploratory journey. On Day One, for example, Casey has clothespins attached over her body while she is bound by wrist and ankle. James rips them away one at a time while Casey’s grimaces accentuate her sensual gratification. The trials continue for two more days; arduous tasks intermittently complimented with penetrative sex.

By Day Four, many girls who shoot for TTOO are running on vapors, but not Casey.

Admitting that shooting for James is rigorous—“TTOO is physically very hard,” Casey tells me—she was still energized in Day Four and disappointed when she was finished. “I was really sad to have to go home,” she says.

James’s design for Casey is slave training while wearing a corset. From what I know of Casey, she is thrilled, but this is a walk in the park for her. He laces one snugly on her, attaches a leash around her neck and has her parade in circles while wearing heels. A few things are going on here. Casey’s heels are a bit of style and glamor and the corset keeps her upright. The scene is reminiscent of pony girl training in which posture is the centerpiece of a girl’s task. Casey is learning to straighten her back while being disciplined in the manner of a horse controlled with reins. She loves it.

The Corset on the First Day Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

The Corset on the First Day
Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

For TTOO shoots, James gets to know the model early on then configures the rest of the days to challenge what the girl wants to accomplish. In his mission to convince Casey she is “pretty,” James works on her command of her physical presence. It’s his teacher persona and it works.

Casey admits that calling herself a “pretty girl” is “starting to get in my head.” And the corset is doing its job. “My posture is better,” she comments proudly.

Watching Casey Calvert in this setting recalls Victorian erotica in which disciplined girls are outfitted in period clothing. A cane on her backside would complete the image of traditional British spanking; shortly, James will do just that.

All Collars Must Be Earned

As the days progress, Casey Calvert admits that she has a “hard time doing something that is so easy for me.” Pony girl training looks nice for the fans, but doesn’t challenge this gorgeous brunette. James takes note; a goal accomplished with little effort has no value placed upon it.

The Tank Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

The Tank
Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

On Day Three Casey orgasms while her face is submerged in a tank of water and she is penetrated from the rear. She later concedes it is difficult to climax in a scary situation. “Too much mental stimuli,” she says.

For James Mogul, this is progress.

Though the numbers may be hard to believe, Casey Calvert is an orgasm machine. During the debriefing at the end of Day Four, she and James estimate that over her week of discipline, she had seventy. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that James is adept at finding her G-spot.

The self-proclaimed pain slut confesses that orgasms were lovingly forced out of her. Never fear, for Casey that’s a cracking good deal, part of her definition of what it means to be kinky. The combination of pain from the training and hard sexual penetration will “make me cum even if I don’t want to,” she says.

The Bench Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

The Bench
Photo Courtesy of Kink.com and Casey Calvert

Tied over a spanking bench, Casey’s bottom is struck repeatedly by the strap James uses to generate the stinging sensations she relishes in a fetish booking. The Hitachi Magic Wand is laboring as her moans increase with the intensity of each succeeding blow. Ouches are now “ows”. Eventually, painful murmurs morph into screams. James keeps up his interrogation, demanding answers about wearing a collar and the feel of vibrators.

The conflation of pain, the vibrator and the mental exercises defines being trained by James Mogul.

Casey’s mantra on this final day is “All collars must be earned.” She repeats it after each application of the leather. The speed increases.

Casey wails, then partial silence, before a constant low level of guttural sound returns. Her face is focused on some faraway place; her eyes begin to dim, hanging straight forward. The whole body shudders, she whimpers limply, another long and laborious moment of glee only a highly sexualized woman can appreciate.

James takes the collar from her hands, where it has been since the beginning of the scene, and places it around her neck.

“Thank you, Sir,” she mutters almost incoherently.

“Pretty” Stuff

After a break, the camera rolls again. Casey is standing before James, her image complete in corset, heels, and now the collar. The director assumes his drill sergeant persona, taking his slave through boot camp instructions. She is exercised to improve her stamina.

No problem for Casey because she’s an athlete having been a gymnast as a kid and later a rock climber in college. The drill instructor demands push-ups, running in place and jumping jacks. Later, Casey kneels on a platform while James’ riding crop reddens her bottom.

Casey’s amused expression is that of a little girl secretly watching her bossy older sister do the dirty deed with her punkish boyfriend. Wait until Mom finds out about this! James orders Casey to “wipe that smirk” off her face.

As Casey places her head on the floor, James presses a boot on her cheek, a not unusual maneuver for him in these kinds of shoots. Spanking has led her to this moment and shortly she licks his boots in total submission. The kinky Floridian has another orgasm. Surprised? Don’t be, this is Casey Calvert at her best.

The shoot continues with oral, vaginal, and anal sex supplied by her co-star, Owen Gray. Everything is complimented with the cane or the riding crop. Casey is tired, but bright-eyed, when all is finished.

James wants her overall impression of the shoot when the debriefing begins. Kink.com always concludes its shoots with a conversation between the performer and the director.

“I had a great time,” she says, “It was fun.” She is momentarily spent, however, mentioning that her legs, arms and shoulders are sore.

“How do you feel mentally,” James wants to know.

“Great! Happy!” She is beaming.

Casey admits she orgasms repeatedly when she can’t breathe and can’t think. She relates some scary moments: all part of her personal kink. Best of all, Casey athleticism is tested in the shoot. She compliments James on the work he made her do. “Endurance challenges,” she calls them.

Asked if there was anything she didn’t like, Casey says no. “I’m happy with everything we did,” she says.

“What did you learn,” the professor/drill instructor asks.

“We got some of the ‘pretty’ stuff in my head.” With a broad smile, she adds, “which is good.” Absolutely. Casey Calvert herself is very, very, pretty stuff. A BDSM dream girl.

Pretty Girl in a Favorite Pose Photo Courtesy of SouthBound

Pretty Girl in a Favorite Position with Slave Collar Dangling
Photo Courtesy of SouthBound

*        *        *        *        *

Knowing Kink.com’s preferences in scripting its shoots, I ask Casey to reflect on her first TTOO experience.

James started her off slowly, she says, because the veteran director did not have a true indication of her level of kinkiness.

“He knew I had experience, but he didn’t know how much,” she tells me. As is his custom, James was willing to press a bit harder as each day led to the next, so the week was fun for her. Once James perceived her love of masochistic sex, “he started pushing all the right buttons,” Casey explains.

Both dom and sub learned from each other . . . and a bond emerged between Casey Calvert and James Mogul.

He is a true professional and “extraordinarily respectful,” Casey says of the TTOO director. She praises his caution when approaching newbies and his thorough understanding of the BDSM scene. BDSM play, especially for the bottom, must have clear limits and be closely guided because giving up all control (at least in theory) is the liberating experience of a bondage scene.

“James has earned my trust,” Casey remarks, and “trust is the difference” when BDSM is your fetish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In discussing this shoot with Casey, she assured me that at no time did she ever feel out of control or lack complete awareness of what was happening. She is a professional model who takes pride in the scenes she does for the studios that hire her. Though mystifying for many, it is her art.

The same can be said of James Mogul. The models who have worked with James tell me he is authentic and guides a performer with professionalism and care. He provides the palette of colors a girl chooses to reach her bliss.

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The Barbarian Queen

By Rich Moreland, November 2012

In October, 2010 I visited San Francisco’s Kink.com for research purposes. CEO Peter Acworth graciously gave me access to the company’s many websites. This brief account comes from a shoot for The Training of O website filmed in 2008 and is included in my upcoming book on feminism in adult film. Photos are courtesy of Kink.com.

*     *     *     *     *

It’s Day Two of an episode of The Training of O featuring Dylan Ryan. Her encounter with Director James Mogul is destined to be ratcheted up. Wanting to confront her personal struggle with her anger and her inability to let it go, Dylan accepted the four-day stint with James. She will yield to his master/disciplinarian approach to “training” knowing the resistance she hopes to quell in herself will inevitably rear its ugly head. This is a personal journey she has decided to take, one that will transform a pornography shoot into a kind of therapy. After her first day facing James’s whip, Dylan reviews her feelings and talks of rage and BDSM as a psychological force.

“When I am in super amounts of pain I get really enraged. I get a hateful and nasty feeling, like . . . ‘I hate you and I want to hurt you as much as you hurt me.’ And then I just shut off. I do want to let go. . .   [By] giving up . . .  control you can be free, not from your mind, but from your conscious continual effort to determine everything all the time. I really want to do that, to just be.”

As the drama plays out, an unrelenting James stays with her until the end, using the Hitachi Magic Wand’s pleasure to push her past her anger. During the final post-shoot interview on Day Four, James surprisingly expresses reservations about the Day Two scene, how he refused to take timeouts at crucial moments. He admits it “was a risky little gamble, trying that scene with you,” he tells her, “but it seemed like the proper thing to attempt.” James has an intuitive “feel” for his work, he understands the emotion and behavior surrounding BDSM play and how it can become a liberating experience. His years of experience prove invaluable in persuading Dylan, a self-proclaimed submissive, to self-engineer a psychological leap to “the other side.”

The Day Two test begins with a nude Dylan standing on a slightly raised expansive wood platform. Resembling every bit the barbarian queen captured in battle and put on display, her feet are shackled and wide apart, her hands, cuffed and chained, are at her side. Extended chains from both ankle and wrist restrains are attached to rings embedded in the platform. Her neck is encased in a wide black leather collar. Two chains lead away from opposite sides of the collar to the wall where more rings offer attachment convenience. The chains permit some mobility; Dylan is able to stand or sit, according to James’s will. Her breasts are bound above and below in leather, as are her thighs. The sense is that she is a prisoner, diabolically and cruelly prepared for public display and torture by her captors. She will be able to struggle with her fury, but she cannot escape.

James commences his task that will include a brief flogging, the application and removal of a ball gag, and the inevitable Hitachi to conclude the session. The episode ends with a brief distant camera shot that is a frozen moment, the psychological resolution to the scene’s fury. A kneeling Dylan is facing a wall, hands attached above her bowed head. Still in chains and looking every bit the whipped and psychologically beaten prisoner, she is emotionally drained of all resistance. It is a visual classic, reproduced for decades in graphic novels and bondage prints.

But the final photographic denouement is the result of a titanic struggle. Dylan fights the session, wildly thrashing around and firing angry expressions at James, verbally assaulting him with profanities. Throughout it all, he is desperately trying to apply the Hitachi to her. At one point in their tussling, James snaps Dylan’s hands behind her back, pushes her into a sitting position—legs splayed—and places his boot on her upper back pressing her downward. He is determined to drive her through her psychological barrier to “that special place” that BDSM submissives hope to go, an ecstatic transcendental state of pleasure few people ever experience in a lifetime of sexuality.

A disentangling results with James as Dylan’s antagonist. As her physical and emotional explosiveness builds Dylan is suddenly overwhelmed with understanding, engulfed in a revelation. Her face is transformed into the slightest of smiles that reads ‘I’ve arrived.’ Dylan’s eyes look directly at James with appreciation. She relaxes, he caresses her genitalia, and an ethereal calm of sexual satiation and sublimation descends on the scene.

Dylan later explains:

“What I learned about myself is that I have this place beyond rage and through pain I can go there. The room [was] full of energy and emotion and what happened today when I was chained and James was just beating me and pulling my hair and talking to me and just pushing me past all of the limits that I had, where I had been screaming and thrashing around and trying to punch James in the face because I fucking hated him at that moment. I felt like an animal and I couldn’t really hear anything because my ears were shut off, it was just coming out of me, just pure emotion and intensity and energy and violence.

I felt like all of a sudden this door opened up in the room and the energy in the room changed. It wasn’t subspace necessarily, because I’ve been in subspace before, and usually subspace connotes some sort of shutting off and this was the complete opposite. I was entirely present, it was an over sensing of everything, it was absolutely overwhelming. I started laughing like a maniac because I didn’t know where to put that feeling. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a feeling quite like that before.”

 

The drama releases Dylan. She struggles to give way, exclaiming that letting go is “not easy.” But the payoff for her version of the scene is an invigorating renewal. James comments on the risk they took.  “I’m glad it worked out. We both go lucky on that one,” he says to Dylan in final Day Four debriefing. “You were searching for something that you couldn’t articulate.”

Dylan tells him she wasn’t sure what she expected to discover, but that she wanted to learn more about herself through exploring new avenues of BDSM. She concludes that the “extreme emotion” of the four days allowed her to view priorities differently. Some of the concerns in her personal life seem less so now. Looking back, the shoot was rewarding for her, though, according to Dylan, the “hardest I’ve ever done.”

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