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The Meaning of Consent: Allie Haze

by Rich Moreland, February 2016

Adult film has it’s stars, and then it has it’s superstars. Allie Haze is one of the latter and destined for the AVN Hall of Fame. During the recent Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, she gave me some of her valuable time. We found a quiet spot beyond the bustle of the convention for a lengthy interview that was a pure delight.

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My impression of Allie Haze is strength, self-assurance, and a sweetness that escapes description. What’s more, she understands the business of adult film.

“This is more than just a job because I’m selling myself. What you’re putting out there is you, your heart and your soul.”

Considering that statement, let’s delve into things that can happen on the set that might not always go down to everyone’s liking.

Allie Haze Photo Courtesy of Smash Pictures

Allie Haze
Photo Courtesy of Smash Pictures

The Sinkhole

Like others I have talked with, Allie does not believe consent issues pervade the industry, but she does recognize they affect the business with a collective concern.

She characterizes the James Deen/Stoya incident as “a sinkhole within us. It’s a very small part of a very big world that just happened to fall in.”

Having said that, the native Californian concedes that the allegations and resulting opinions are evolving into “a monster that is damaging our community.”

Essentially, James and Stoya, are “two powerhouse individuals” who have shaped the modern porn landscape, Allie says. They are among “those top twenty people” the public regards as important adult film voices, “the people who make the difference, the ones the media actually gets to hear.”

So, are there real issues with consent in porn?

For some people, yes. But, Allie believes, “it’s a case by case basis.” In other words, it differs based on personal preferences and the ability to understand the demands of porn.

“I could be twenty-five and be super manipulative or I could be eighteen and be smarter than the twenty-five year old,” she explains. “It has nothing to do with age. It has to do with your maturity level and there is no way to determine that.”

Photo courtesy of Allie Haze Twitter

Photo courtesy of Allie Haze Twitter

Know the Rules

Though she has a history of “good choices,” Allie supports mentoring performers because entering porn can be scary.

For example, she says, just getting started is challenging. Flying in from out of town and meeting an agent for the first time is often a bewildering and anxiety-producing “life changing event.”

Throw in that first day on the set with its consent issues, and a girl can fall into more than she expected. So it’s important to ask, “What are the rules of what you are getting into?” she says.

What’s more, the award-winning actress warns anyone thinking about shooting porn that “in less than six months your whole family” will know what you’re doing and you should understand the possible consequences of your decision.

Are there ways to guide newbies, particularly if they are having problems?

“I hope the older generation [of performers] would take them under their wing,” Allies replies.

But there is another vital point the stunning brunette wants to make.

Allie recalls her first job in fast food and the “food workers card” she secured after taking an eight-hour class. She endorses a similar practice for adult because performers do not have a union to address these concerns. The closest organization available is APAC (Adult Performer Advocacy Committee).

In her view, it would work like this. “When we have our I.D. [for age purposes] and [blood] test [results] we also need our permit card. No matter at what age you enter the business, you should have to go through a class, learn about your body and what you can say ‘no’ to.”

The former minister’s wife completes her thought with a strong affirmation about the process. “It also has to be industry funded.”

Teamwork

Allie Haze is not gun shy and it works to her advantage.

Photo Courtesy of Smash Pictures

Photo Courtesy of Smash Pictures

“I’m a little feisty and I never felt like I could not say no.” However, she is familiar with “meek, beautiful, and intelligent women” who have shared stories in which it was “more of a hassle to say ‘no'” than to just go along.

Nevertheless, Allie believes, the onus is on the performer to speak up. “No one is at fault because you made that decision [to say nothing]. If you had enough time to think of all of that, you had enough time to say ‘no.'”

The multi-talented performer shared a personal experience.

Once during a rough scene, a male model spit in her face “in the heat of the moment.” Allie stopped the shoot. She didn’t mind the choking and the slapping, but spitting was out.

A newcomer at the time, Allie had discussed her limits before the scene began, but really couldn’t blame the guy because she forgot to mention that spitting was a ‘no.’

“As much as I was frustrated and really offended, I told him that I know I didn’t say it and we’re not going to stop the shoot. Don’t lose your mojo, just don’t do it again.”

She apologized to the director and he said, “No, you’re good.”

Allie advises female performers to act with care. By screaming at the guy, his arousal level is crushed. “Now it’s his fault and nobody gets a paycheck and we have to come back the next day.”

“Although you’re entitled to an uproar, this is a career so there’s a professional way to handle those bad situations. You’re working as a team.”

Courtesy of Smash Pictures

Photo courtesy of Smash Pictures

A Way Out

Allie comments that Kink.com, where she has completed some twenty BDSM shoots, can create stressful situations. Safe words are important on their sets.

Her personal Kink anxiety centers on electricity.

“I wanted to challenge myself so I did their electrosluts site. My fear of electricity made me cry. I was gagged. I wasn’t in pain. Nothing was wrong. But once I started crying they cut the camera.”

An important lesson was learned.

Girls can communicate when fears are aroused. At Kink, crying, which is usually not related to physical discomfort, is a way to stop a scene.

It’s a matter of figuring out what behaviors companies consider sensitive.

“If you know what the rules are when cut happens” you’re on top of things, Allie declares. But always remember that “stop or cut” means lost footage. So a degree of common sense kicks in.

Having said that, Allie is adamant about feeling safe.

“No one should be in that situation where they feel like they need to find an escape or a way out. That’s what breaks my heart, that’s what makes me sad.”

In the middle of a hectic day, Allie is still cheerful and willing to chat

In the middle of a hectic day, Allie is still cheerful and willing to chat.

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Through it all, Allie realized that when the James Deen/Stoya incident got out, women in porn were going to be portrayed as victims.

She wants everyone to know she is not a victim even though she’s “done a lot of interviews where they think that.”

Well, this is not one of them, I’m delighted to say.

For her final thought, Allie Haze proclaims with sharp certitude, “I’m happily a seven-year veteran and still going strong. I would never change it for the world.”

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The Meaning of Consent: Derrick Pierce

by Rich Moreland, February 2016

Not all the superstars in adult film are women. Men have their place.

Derrick Pierce is a multi-talented performer whose honesty and good nature is well-respected in the business. We’ve talked before and here is much of what he said during our latest chat at the 2016 AVN convention.

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Photo courtesy of Adam & Eve and AVN

Photo courtesy of Adam & Eve and AVN

When male performers are asked about consent, the response is pretty unified. The guys want to make sure everyone is on board with likes and dislikes before a scene begins.

Sometimes, they will tell you, limits are defined by studio protocol.

Veteran performer Derrick Pierce offers this assessment.

“[Studios] like Hustler or Wicked have their own set of guidelines that typically supersede the level of what we as talent would like, meaning that even if talent is okay with certain things [and] the company isn’t, we have to abide by what the company wants.”

In the case of less restrictive studios, performers will work out their limits before shooting commences.

The Side of Caution

If he is paired with a girl he doesn’t know, Derrick wants to find out what she “is cool with” so boundaries can be set. For example, she might say, “I’m fine with hair pulling, spanking, just don’t slap my face.”

He is there for her, Derrick insists, and will tell his co-star, “if there is anything that you don’t like and you want to stop, just give me a couple of hard squeezes on the leg or the arm and I’ll adjust it so we don’t have to stop.”

Derrick Pierce

Derrick Pierce in the media room

Fortunately, Derrick is aware that after a scene girls sometimes have doubts about what they let happen, prompting him to “err on the side of caution.”

“I’d much rather female talent walk away from a shoot [thinking] ‘I probably could have done more’ than ‘Whoa, that was way too much!'”

Aside from his resume of vanilla shoots, Derrick is an experienced BDSM performer. In bondage scenes, establishing limits is imperative.

He cites Kink.com, where he appears frequently, as a studio that is “very, very strict” about their shoots. They do give performers “a lot more latitude, but with more latitude come more rules,” Derrick adds.

In fact, there is a two-page document on a girl’s limits–what she is fine with and what she is not–that performers hired as dominants “now have to read” and “sign off” on. It’s specific, he says, “probably thirty different items” that include spitting, marking, anal play, and the like.

Derrick notes that the document also has a comment section. A girl might mention “no marking” if she has a vanilla shoot coming up, or “go for it” because her next couple of weeks are open for recovery time.

Finally, everything is “read, signed, counter signed” before going to a production manager who “oversees the paper work.” Next, the webmaster and director also sign off on the guidelines. “Kink is so through it’s ridiculous” Derrick says. (And getting more so, apparently. The March issue of XBIZ reports the company is refining its consent policy.)

“They [the performers] know what they sign up for when the go to Kink. You can’t walk away saying they’re negligent.”

He mentions that the San Francisco studio will give a model partial pay if she decides to bail on a shoot. “They’ll pay you half your rate. I don’t know another company that will do that.”

The Elbow Test

I bring up new girls and possible problems that arise. Are they vulnerable?

“Absolutely!” Derrick declares. “How do you say ‘no’ to things you don’t know you’re okay with or not okay with? Because I’m an experienced performer, when a girl says, ‘I’m cool with everything’ I’ll say something ridiculous like, ‘so you’re cool if I elbow you in the face?'”

She’ll back off, of course, leading Derrick to respond, “‘You do have limits, then?’

That leads to an awareness dialogue that is initiated with, “Well, what do you like?”

“You have to lead them,” Derrick adds, because they don’t understand “the full spectrum of what ‘I’m okay with everything means.'”

Getting through to a girl belongs to the male talent, Derrick believes.

“Help those girls out because they’re not really familiar” with what is expected of them and the shoot. From there the directors step in. Even if a director says little, especially if it’s BDSM, Derrick still assumes responsibility.

“At the end of the day, I’m [either] going to be the one taking care of them, making sure they are okay, or be a part of them going too far,” something he wants to avoid.

“I’d much rather err on the side of caution for the first time.” He lets subsequent shoots determine if the girl wants to go harder.

Derrick with superstar Dani Daniels

Derrick with superstar Dani Daniels

The Eyes Don’t Lie

In the final analysis, consent is all about conversation.

“I think that when two people can connect, even if it is on a minimal level, it helps the scene.”

He will ask a co-star, “What puts a smile on your face?” knowing the answer will subtlety show up on film.

“The camera picks up those things. The eyes don’t lie. If you really watch a girl you can see when she’s not okay.” That’s important, Derrick mentions, because “sometimes the cameraman is so involved with other issues, he’s not looking for the intensity or intention of the talent.”

“I always take that responsibility, or try to take that responsibility, to make sure I’m always checking in if we’re doing something out of the norm.”

Then he adds with a smile, “Even if we’re not, girls get tired.”

His suggestion for fatigue? Take a break and resort to a little oral sex. “No director or cameraman is going to say ‘whoa’ [to that],” he chuckles.

It’s a trick top-notch male performers keep tucked away for the right moment.

In adult film, the value of the veteran male performer cannot be overstated. That is why their circle is so small. The best work all the time.

Once you “learn the game,” Derrick Pierce says, “the better you’ll be for talent. The girls will want to work with you because they know that you’re looking out for them.”

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The Meaning of Consent: Casey Calvert

by Rich Moreland, February 2016

Casey Calvert is popular with porn fans, having begun her career as a fetish model.  The 2012 University of Florida graduate entered the business at twenty-two, older than most girls who seek a career in adult entertainment.

Highly respected among her peers, Casey is active in the industry support group,  APAC (Adult Performer Advocacy Committee).

We talked recently at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas.

CZHKeriUsAA6qjR*          *          *

Casey Calvert reflects what performers understand, “You know what you signed up for when you show up on the set.”

The native Floridian explains that an informed performer is aware of what is expected and who her co-stars are that day. However, that doesn’t mean unplanned or uncomfortable incidents don’t happen.

“If something changes, whether it’s somebody asking something additional of you or [an incident happens] by accident, you say something and the problem gets resolved.”

Feeling Violated

Casey doesn’t want to get into the James Deen/Stoya controversy which she refers to as “a big scandal” in the business. Understandable and that’s not the focus of my question. But, I do want her take on how a newcomer should handle a similar situation that might occur on set.

“It’s one of the things we’re working on as an industry, especially now that people are talking about how do we make new girls feel comfortable speaking up and how do we make sure they know it’s okay [to do so.]”

Then the four-year industry vet touches on the second point everyone seems to make.

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

“Nobody wants them to go home feeling violated or upset. Everybody wants them to go home feeling good.”

Casey retreats a bit when I suggest that after a questionable moment during filming, some girls may believe they have been subjected to inappropriate sexual behavior.

“Right, but that doesn’t mean they got raped either. Getting raped is if you say ‘no’ and they say ‘yes.'”

Does that happen?

“Not that I’ve ever heard of,” the superstar replies. “It has not personally happened to me. I’ve never heard a story in recent history at all where that has happened on a set with anybody.”

Having said that, she clarifies her position.

“There’s a difference between I say ‘no’ and you try to convince me to say ‘yes’ and I say ‘no’ and you take it anyway.”

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Getting It Fixed

Has she been on sets where this has happened?

Casey hasn’t, but she comments, “I’ve been on shoots where I’ve had to say ‘something’s wrong’ and it gets fixed.”

She measures her words, declaring that she “can’t be mad” because “the person who has created” the problem straightened it out.

Due to the nature of a business that shoots thousands of scenes a year with a talent pool that is in constant flux, Casey realizes questionable moments do occur.

Referencing the male performers booked to shoot with her, she says, “They don’t know me. We’re acquaintances. This is not my boyfriend of ten years who should be fantastic at reading my body language and should know the things about me. This is essentially a stranger, so I can’t fault that stranger for not knowing something if I don’t tell him.”

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Is being a superstar an advantage that causes everyone to back off?

“Oh, yeah. For sure. I fully admit I’ve had additional privilege going in being a Spiegler Girl, even [when I was] brand new.” Casey signed with the Spiegler agency immediately upon entering the industry.

“People treat you differently. I can definitely say that, but I also have lots of friends who are not Spiegler girls and have lots of experiences on set.”

She doesn’t elaborate about those experiences, be they positive or negative.

A Three-Fold System

To educate newcomers, APAC has developed a “Porn 101” video similar to AIM’s [Adult Industry Medical] endeavor years ago. Performers are is issued a card that certifies they have viewed the tape.

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

“It’s a very positive step in the right direction,” the native Floridian says, and explains that it’s especially valuable for girls who come in at eighteen or nineteen.

By presenting “this piece of paper that says, ‘I understand what I’m getting into. I get it,'” Casey points out, a performer should be in a position to deal with issues that may arise.

But she adds a caveat.

“We have to make sure they actually really do get it and it can’t be like, ‘here everybody gets a piece of paper.'”

Even that does not fully address the problem.

“If the companies don’t adopt that as a procedure where they require that piece of paper or that card, then it means nothing . . . [because] it is a three-fold system. There’s the performers, the directors, the producers and the companies, and then there’s the agents. The change has to come from all three.”

In other words, communication and cooperation across the board is a worthy goal, though not an easy task.

Casey uses the following example.

“If the performers get educated, then the companies say, ‘Okay, we need proof that you understand what you’re getting into,’ and the agents don’t facilitate any of that, it still doesn’t work. It has to be a system where all three are working together which is why APAC is having such a hard time making it happen.”

Having said that, Casey brightens.

“It’s happening, but it’s happening very, very slowly.”

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

Photo courtesy of Casey Calvert

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The Meaning of Consent: Beginning

by Rich Moreland, February 2016

In light of the widely reported James Deen/Stoya incident, I decided to investigate the issue of sexual consent in adult film with the understanding that their dustup was largely off camera. Performers with whom I talked agreed that the affair was personal and passing judgment on the couple was not something anyone wanted to do.

Stoya and James Photo courtesy of AVN

Stoya and James
Photo courtesy of AVN

However, everyone has an opinion on how to deal with consent. Here’s what became evident.

The Director

Directors are sensitive about issues on their sets and having performers know what to expect in a shoot is important to them. From the other side of the camera, there is a tacit understanding among talent that porn is a unique business and anyone who is paid for sex acts on film knows (or should know) what they have signed up for.

Performers indicated that directors let them find their own comfort level, though sometimes what they get excited about sexually may exceed what the company is good to go with. In those cases, directors rein in the action to conform to protocol. This is especially true when dealing with BDSM.

On the other hand, no one I interviewed indicated that directors blatantly looked the other way for the sake of getting a scene that will sell. Simply put, good directors adhere to performer limits.

No Means No

All performers, regardless of their time in the business, feel the need to discuss their limits with their co-stars.

Therefore . . .

No means no, period. Performers can’t stress this enough. Boundaries and limits can be pushed, quite often subtly, and veteran models will raise a red flag when situations get dicey.

The sticking point, however, is that boundaries are a matter of interpretation because limits differ from person to person. Nevertheless, performers are on board with the following:

When a model heads for home after a work day, any second thoughts she might have about what went on in front of the camera presents a problem that demands attention. This situation is deeply personal to performers because most have been there before which brings us to another commonality everyone shares.

Easy Targets

Newcomers need to be informed about what to anticipate before ever stripping down for the camera. In particular, girls who enter the business at the earliest possible age should be educated about establishing their boundaries and how to stop the action if they are violated.

This is important because neophytes don’t know what to expect. “Barely legal” girls just out of high school have never had a real job before, especially one in which big bucks are made quickly.  They want work as much as they can, in effect becoming easy targets for excesses.

Fortunately, some experienced performers step in to mentor fresh faces, reinforcing the linchpin of a successful porn career: taking personal responsibility for what happens on a set.

One more point. In the last few years porn talent has organized a self-help group, APAC (Adult Performer Advocacy Committee). Part of its mission is to offer newcomers a road map into the business.

Final Thought

The Deen/Stoya situation has opened a discussion and the blog posts that follow are industry voices who were forthright, painting the consent picture with their own colorful palette. Their perspectives are as diverse as porn itself.

I thank everyone who talked with me and must say I was impressed with their honesty.

Enjoy the posts.

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I’ve tackled this subject in previous posts and encourage checking out the views of Natasha Nice, Ela Darling, and Mercy West. Just type in “consent” in the search box above and the articles will show up.

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A Nice Girl Who Howls at the Moon: Part Three, Playing Either Role

by Rich Moreland, January 2016

This is the third part of the Madeline Blue series. Photos are courtesy of her social media.

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Living Piece of Sensual Art

Gone, Madeline Blue’s breakthrough film in adult, features dungeon scenes which suggest the movie is BDSM oriented. In the final part of this series, we will see that is not the case. However, the bondage element prompted me to ask her about her fetishes and what she relishes putting on film.

Despite appearances, being “restrained during sex,” Madeline declares, does not immediately come to mind. Rather she lists alternative pairings like girl/girl and boy/boy/girl as “the first thing that pops in my head.” The all-girl shoot is particularly appealing because Madeline is new to the porn subgenre. But she’s always had “secret crushes” though she never got involved with “females sexually until the past year or so.”

CNL4mReWwAAAAI7Ropes and ball gags may not be her favorite shoots, but they have their place. Madeline expresses a liking for “the sensory deprivation aspect” of bondage play. It’s “a big turn on,” she says, then relates a particular fetish scene that left an impression with her.

“The photographer blindfolded me . . . put white noise in my ears, and restrained me.” He progressed to “soft touches” before turning up the action with “hard thigh grabbing and spanking.”

It was “insanely hot” and “I was a living piece of sensual art,” Madeline gushes, “I would do that kind of stuff off camera . . . depending on the Dom, of course!”

For those of you who have seen Jacky St. James’ The Submission of Emma Marx, you may recall the final scene of the film when Emma is pleasured by Mr. Frederick. It is much like Madeline’s experience.

The Fifty Problem

Similar to others in the adult industry, Madeline found the filmed version of Fifty Shades of Grey to be disappointing. Confessing she did not read the book (I did and E.L. James’ repetitive, middle school writing style caused me to skip through portions of it), Madeline believes the movie “had the opportunity to bring the BDSM lifestyle into mainstream light.” Unfortunately it was “a bust for the progressive sexual movement,” she declares, though the novel did open doors to BDSM as a “household topic.”B_Q-hUNWsAAj_sp

The power dynamics portrayed in the film are unrealistic, Madeline believes. “How many billionaires are out there scooping up virgin college coeds and asking them to be contractual subs? It seemed totally absurd.” Fifty presents the Dom, Christian Grey, as “a controlling jerk” and the movie appears to support “conventional relationships as the only safe way [to enjoy sex],” she points out.

Madeline has a convincing argument because Christian Grey is a reclamation project for Anastasia. Once she shows him love, the story implies he’ll put away his fetishes and become “normal.” If nothing else, the narrative is an insult to the BDSM community.

The native New Englander adds a final criticism that is spot. “I think the story was the wrong one for mainstream, Gone should have come out first . . . . because it shows two willing people who want to play together like that. She [Rebecca] wants it and likes it and they feel connected and bonded through their role-playing. Rebecca and Todd are devoted, loving, and deeply connected and express themselves healthily.”

The Right Mood

Madeline and her husband-to-be, Gee Richards, are not BDSM lifesylers. They have no “established” dom/sub dynamics and no bondage play in the bedroom except for an occasional spanking.

CIcAI0vVAAAk8TSHowever, in the world of paid professionals, Madeline’s fans can find her trussed up with the best of them. She describes her early bondage shoots as “mostly ropes, ball gags, blindfolds, spanking, rigging, and collars. I played the sub role pretty much exclusively as those were the opportunities I was presented.”

But there were rewards. “I enjoyed the spanking, and like the feel of the ropes, it was exciting,” she declares, but her personal sexual growth has steered her to the other side of the BDSM equation. “I am in an exciting place in my life right now where I don’t want to feel controlled. I need to be in the dominant role at least for the time being.”

It’s about her inner self. “I have a personal emotional range and I am pretty sensitive. If I am not in the right mind space and don’t have the right Dom, being a sub isn’t fun.”

By the way, other performers who have been topped on camera tell me the same thing.

She’s a quiet and polite person, Madeline says, but her introspection is more characteristic of the “strong silent type” that’s not suitable for subbing. Yet nothing is set in stone, she implies. “I have to be in the right mood to play either role.”

If anything, Madeline Blue has an honest sexuality that her fans can see in her expression of body and soul.

The Professional Cut

As mentioned earlier, Madeline has her own Clips4Sale site called Madeline Blue Kinky Times. The content is building, so don’t expect a vast array offerings quite yet.

“All of my photos, all of my video work, profiles, all of it has been done in the last year or so.”

Learning as she goes, Madeline declares she is exploring herself in the process. Working with Gee, who has his own store Eordyssey, they are building Madeline’s site. The shoots are under her direction story-wise.

CTjcVQNUEAAkLq_

“It’s fun to create something start to finish and have control over the content and the production. I always fancied myself a screenwriter/director.”

So take a look for yourself and stay tuned for the final part of Madeline Blue’s Odyssey, the making of Gone.

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A Novel is Safer

by Rich Moreland, September 2015

This is the second installment of my talk with Angie Rowntree, the founder of Sssh.com, an erotic website for women.

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Angie Rowntree and her husband Colin began a BDSM website when the bondage fetish was in its online infancy. Wasteland.com is “the web’s largest collection . . . of High-Definition Original Bondage and Fetish videos,” and counts among its many offerings feature films and beautiful women. The company is an industry leader.

I asked Angie about one of hottest topics in the fetish business today, E.L. James’ novel, Fifty Shades of Grey.

Her point of view lines up with many of the book’s critics and those in the BDSM community who think the story of Anastasia and Christian’s relationship falls short of what it purports to be.

“Fifty Shades is not a particularly realistic or authentic depiction of BDSM,” Angie says. However, she is quick to agree that “there’s no doubt its popularity has shoved open the door to a much larger market and a lot more interest [in the fetish].”

From her perspective, it’s been a boon to their adult business.

wasteland-ad“Both Sssh and Wasteland have seen an increase in traffic we can directly attribute to the [novel’s] popularity, especially in the number of searches for BDSM and related terms.”

The Irony of Print

As I’ve written before, Fifty is print erotica which has long been more accepted than filmed smut, particularly when it comes to federal prosecution of pornography. In the 1980s and 1990s chasing the adult film industry was all about obscenity; the written word was given a pass.

Times have changed and Angie reminds us that print is a real advantage for the industry today. It’s a portal for fetishes that, if left to the designs of film studios, would have difficulty expanding their female audience.

“I think it’s significant that the Fifty Shades craze was in response to a novel, just because that’s perceived as a ‘safer’ and more traditional means for women to explore erotica.”

Of course, as reading increases, film is the beneficiary.

“Even though there’s a lot of data to the contrary, a lot of people still don’t believe women watch internet porn,” Angie remarks. “But, I haven’t heard anybody express one iota of doubt that it’s really women buying all those copies of Fifty Shades.”

Angie makes a point I’ve heard from adult industry feminists. Women are receptive to filmed erotica.

sssh-300x180“Nobody questions whether women read erotica,” she says. “The truth is we watch plenty of it, too, a truth I think people are finally becoming more open to now.” A visit to Toronto’s Feminist Porn Awards will back up Angie’s perspective. She agrees that the increasing female customer base in the adult is “in partly due to the Fifty Shades craze.”

When I bring up Kink.com as an influence in the popularity of BDSM porn, Angie discounts any impact Peter Acworth’s company had on Wasteland or Sssh. “Both sites had already been around . . . long before the book came out and before Kink [was] launched.”

“We were very much settled in our aesthetic, style, and production methods by the time they became popular.” In fact, she adds, “our influences and inspirations come from other places and times.”

An Old Question

Finally, we have the old tired accusation disguised as a question from the anti-porn crowd of feminism’s second wave. Is porn, especially the BDSM genre, violence toward women?

Angie responds.

“What if the dominant person in the depiction is the woman and the sub is a man? How well does their little axiom hold up then? I take it violence against men is OK? Or is it just that we trust men to make decisions we don’t trust women to make?”

Angie talks about extreme martial arts males fighting in a cage as “entertainment” directed at “the masses.” However, she says, if one of them is a woman and scene is a “spanking video instead of a fist fight . . . all of a sudden it’s ‘exploitation.’”

It’s really “selective paternalistic bullshit,” Angie insists. Not to miss an opportunistic moment, she concludes with a bit of sarcasm, “After all, I’m a woman, so obviously someone needs to step in and protect me from myself when I have ideas about what to do with my body of which they disapprove, right?”

Good point.

Bringing up society’s penchant for “circumscribing female sexuality,” a further spin on the exploitation question, Angie believes that attitudes change when “courageous, independent, determined, and self-possessed women” make their artistic statements in adult film.

As a result, she states, “Young women these days are a lot less apt to allow society to succeed [in defining their sexuality for them].”

Is this happening? To some extent, Angie believes. However, “there’s still too much ‘slut shaming’ and harsh judgment directed at women who are open about expressing themselves sexually, but this doesn’t mean we haven’t made progress over the years.”

Colin and Angie Rowntree Photo courtesy of Angie Rowntree

Colin and Angie Rowntree
Photo courtesy of Angie Rowntree

As for American culture, we’re on the right track, she insists. In parts of the rest of the world, questions remain.

Check out Wasteland and Sssh and take the tour. You might find interesting things to see.

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The Adrenaline and the Terror

by Rich Moreland, August, 2015

For the present, this is the last in the Mercy West series. Here’s hoping she will talk with us again soon. 🙂

*          *          *

The start of a long day Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

The start of a long day
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

“Just hearing someone using it sends shivers down my spine.”

Mercy West is on the set of Hardtied and the day is getting long. But no worry, it’s all good.

*          *          *

Negotiations

Some years ago when Kink.com established the practice of pre and post-shoot interviews, the reasoning was simple: avoid obscenity charges. The best way to deflect the law was to demonstrate that the model was fully in control of her cognitive awareness, consenting to everything and having fun.

At first, tears were avoided because of the impression that the girl was in pain. After several performers said that crying was their natural response to the intense pleasure created by their fetish, that restriction was set aside.

Within the BDSM community negotiations are always precursors before anybody does anything to anyone. What are the player’s limits and what will happen during the scene? Kink follows this standard as do the other BDSM-oriented porn companies.

Getting ready for the pre-shoot interview Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Getting ready for the pre-shoot interview
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Mercy West gives us an inside look at similar preparation at Intersec, the company that runs the Hardtied site. She’s punished to the extreme, as is her desire.

“The general public isn’t aware of the negotiations that go into professional BDSM scenes,” Mercy begins. What is on-screen for commercial purposes doesn’t reveal the work that leads up to the shoot. There are emails and phone calls that fill the weeks before the actual filming date arrives.

Before she arrived in Oakland for each of her Intersec appearances, Mercy talked with the directors.

“How I was feeling, where my head was, and what I was prepared for,” she relates.

This is important because uncertainty can slow everyone down “if limits aren’t laid out,” Mercy says. Some directors and crew will “tiptoe around talking about the hard stuff” on set and when they finally get to it’s a little late.

It’s the same with submissives or bottoms. Mercy feels comfortable with “full disclosure” and emphasizes there are no “stupid questions” with BDSM play.

Subdrop

An in-person interview on shooting day lays everything out. Though the Intersec folks had a written list of her limits, they insisted that she state them on camera.

“They wanted me to talk about how I was excited to be there and it was of my own free will, that I am aware that the activities are the same as in Hollywood . . . it’s acting. I choose to participate in what they want and I’m not coerced in any way.

They’re basically covering their asses which I can definitely understand. I am sure it all has to do with lawyers and things that may have happened in the past.”

Post-shoot and ready for the interview Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Post-shoot and ready for the interview
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

“As far as prerecorded interviews and interviews after and the type of questions they ask,” Mercy says, procedures vary from company to company. As would be expected, “the post-shoot debriefing” is held after the performer “calms down and takes a breather.”

From her experience with rough bondage scenes, Mercy’s recovery time is fairly short.

“I’m normally pretty smiley and bubbly and happy because it just feels amazing and I love it. I really think they like to show that.”

The twenty-five-year-old is making a name for herself as a submissive who can take it, but mentions that not all porn models are cut from the same BDSM cloth.

“Everybody processes things differently. A lot of girls can seem really sad or be totally unenergetic and very out of it. That’s fine, there is no wrong way to do it, but it might not come off as well [on film]. It’s just not visually pleasing.”

For BDSMers who lean toward masochism, the issue of subspace sometimes arises. Endorphins that elevate the senses while outflanking awareness can be a safety concern so models are carefully monitored as the scene progresses.

Later subdrop, or the crash after the rush, occurs. For some submissives, it can be immediate causing them to be “sort of shy and standoffish,” Mercy says. But that is not who she is.

“When I come out of a scene, I am fully of energy. I’m jumping up and down.” She confesses, “I have such a big smile on my face it’s hard for me to get the words out sometimes.”

But the 5’2” bondage sweetie can’t entirely escape the emotional letdown.

“Generally the subdrop comes . . . way later [for me] sometimes, but definitely not right after [the scene]” she explains. “So the interview with me and the debriefing is important because some people have really strong reactions and I’m one of those people.”

Weaving Terrors into Pleasure

Back to the set and Mercy’s dom in the shoot, Jack Hammer, has his upcoming treat for her. Later she recalled what happened.

“I’m terrified of the single tail whip. I love it, it feels really great. I like having it used on me, but I’m terrified of it and it just makes me tremble. Before Jack brought it to use on me, he started just whipping the air and sort of walking around. I started to lose it.”

Terror takes over Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

Terror takes over
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

She is suspended in a chest harness, dangling from the ceiling on tiptoe, giving her wiggle room to highlight her fear, but disallowing escape.

It’s the kind of predicament that sells the shoot to Hardtied fans.

“I started to lose it and bawl uncontrollably before he even touched me.”

To intensify matters, the workday is wrapping up.

“It was the last shoot of the day,” she recalls. “This was the last section [of the scene] and I was totally exhausted but I lost it . . . because in the moment I wasn’t thinking I am on a stage, performing, giving people what they want.”

As the fatigue sets in, Mercy begins to weave the tension into her ecstasy.

Coping with the terror Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

Coping with the terror
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

“Oh no, that man has a big whip and he knows how to use it and he wants to hurt me.” She thinks, “I’m trapped!” The excitement increases because none of it is being done to her “in a bad way.” she says.

Swirling emotions in a cauldron of pleasure and pain integrates the staged fantasy into a sensual experience.

“That’s what goes through my head when I’m playing,” Mercy concedes. “That is the sort of space that I want to be in. The adrenaline and the terror and I know I’m safe. I know I’m not going to become injured in a way that I don’t approve of or that is really terrible.”

Record the Marks

For non-BDSMers, it’s a hard sell, but Mercy is reassuring. “I know that I am safe so I can let my mind go to those places. I can let that fear bleed out of me.”

It’s also a statement of why so much care goes into a sexuality charged play scene that comes across as abuse for those who want to see it that way. Mercy explains, “It’s why the debriefing is important because they like to have performers elaborate when things like that happen.”

Checking the marks Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Checking the marks
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Companies want models to be honest. They will say, “You were crying not because we are holding you here and forcing you to go through these things, but because it excites you and was very overwhelming and you get emotional when you play.”

She is delighted to tell the interviewer that she was not coerced, had a safe word to use if she wished, and “was in total control of the situation.”

Of course, BDSM shooters always walk a legal fine line. Some studios do a full body scan “to record the marks so they have on camera what they did and how you looked after the shoot,” Mercy says. It’s evidence, quite frankly.

The director and crew ask the model to walk, lift her arms and legs. Mercy doesn’t mind. It’s for everybody benefit.

“It makes me feel like they are on top of things.”

No doubt, everybody’s got a lawyer . . .

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Making the Decision

by Rich Moreland, August 2015

Mercy West talks race and her first on-screen penetration.

*          *          *

Getting into adult film is a process. No one recommends jumping into hardcore without preparation. Some performers and agents suggest taking it slowly. Begin by doing a little research to get a handle on what is expected. Next go with nude modeling, progress to web camming and follow that with some girl-on-girl before taking the step into hardcore.

Some girl/girl camming Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Some girl/girl camming
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

The watchword in the business is to always hold something back. Don’t take on everything at once because it short changes the future. In Mercy’s case she wasn’t reticent about BDSM because it is a natural for her. Right now, her hold back is anal which she may put off for some time to come.

Then there is interracial. Needless to say, some models have careers that never include anal or interracial. Others have no problem with it, but like to delay their first IR shoot until their fans demand something new.

In Casey Calvert’s career, she built her brand before doing her first IR gangbang and superstar Allie Haze did her first anal scene after years in the business. The pre-shoot hype guaranteed fan interest.

Allie Haze Photo courtesy of Naughty America

Allie Haze
Photo courtesy of Naughty America

It’s marketing, pure and simple.

Men of Color

However, when it comes to men of color, the story is a bit different.

For Mercy, performing with African-Americans is seamless and she is perplexed about the never-ending dust-up over race in the industry.

Before her Hardtied shoot, Mercy mentions that Jack Hammer, an African-American performer who works the site, will take her on. “Everything is coming up roses and the thorns feel lovely,” is her response to the prospect.

Later, she adds with anticipation, “Feeling really tense / nervous / excited about my shoot with Jack Hammer tomorrow. I think it’s going to go really well. I’m just not exactly sure what he has in store. All I know is that it’s probably going to be one of the most intense fucking things I ever do.”

Then race creeps into the conversation and Mercy remembers talking with some industry people.

“I was abruptly informed in a dressing room one day that not only was I making the decision to have sex with a big cock and a kinky cock… But I was also making the decision to sleep with a black man. It honestly never crossed my mind when I was considering Hardtied.”

With America’s demographic shift creating a more multicultural nation, Mercy’s naivete reveals something important. Young people are rewriting a portion of the American saga in which acceptance of differences is broader than ever before.

“I didn’t even realize that interracial was still a thing! I get the feeling that it’s one of those ‘that’s the way it has always been, so no one really talks about it,’” Mercy says. “Interracial is a genre and as a phone sex operator I learned quickly that taboos are usually the things that really get people off.”

Despite the no-no attached to black/white sex, Mercy doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. “It’s kind of crazy that white girls and black guys or vice-versa is still somewhat considered a taboo.” Then, she adds, cryptically. “While working on the phone I realized it’s mainly a taboo for middle-aged conservative straight guys.”

There you have it.

Excellent Chemistry

Mercy describes her first on-screen penetration.

“I was up on a pedestal with my legs in the butterfly position and my arms in strappado.”

Mercy and Jack Photo courtesy of Intersec

Mercy and Jack
Photo courtesy of Intersec

Oral preceded it, she says, but it was awkward, not because of the bondage tie, but because of her limitations. “I was suspended from the ceiling on my stomach [which was positioned] on a box.” I had my arms tied behind me and my legs in a hog tie.”

Visually, Mercy doesn’t feel the oral went well. “I’m not really into deep throating . . . I have a tiny mouth and I felt he was a little frustrated after while.” She performed fine, Mercy says, but “it just didn’t go down my throat . . . I don’t have that much mouth.” And, Jack is not small.

Incidentally, the sex isn’t the highlight of most BDSM shoots because it’s the fetish that brings in the customer dollars. Mercy remarks, “I feel like the website doesn’t focus much on the sex, it is more on the rope.” In other words, in her first boy/girl, the sex was secondary and fit in with what she’s accustomed to doing.

“I liked it a lot, actually. It wasn’t far from things that I would do in my real life with someone who is topping me with rope. That’s why I picked this shoot, it was wonderful. I truly, truly enjoyed it.”

The diminutive bondage wench comments on a part of the shoot she believes came out artistically well. Jack was behind her, crouching over with the ever reliable Hitachi and grabbing her hair.

Hitachi at work (slightly out of view) Photo courtesy of Intersec

Hitachi at work (slightly out of view)
Photo courtesy of Intersec

“It looked really nice because he is a giant human being compared to me. It was visually very pleasing. I hope to work with him again, we had excellent chemistry.”

Scream, Curse, and Cry

Crying is normal for Mercy. “It doesn’t take that much for me to cry and I think that is why BDSM people like dealing with me.” She good with pain and can take the marks.

“There was lots of caning,” she says with a smile. “Jack lifted my legs up and caned me quite a bit. That is where the worst marks were, on the back of my thighs, those soft, tender, mushy parts that sadists really love.”

Mercy just let everything flow. “I know I’m in an environment where I am able to twitch, scream, curse, cry, do whatever. I feel like I can take what is given me and deal with it.”

Like all bondage performers, Mercy appreciates the safety of the set. Her personal life offers challenges on two levels that the studio avoids. “I can’t be too loud because my neighbors will hear me. I can’t squirm too much because the restraints will come loose.” Intersec’s warehouse, like Kink.com’s Armory, takes care of that.

Tears in her TopGirl shoot with Bella Rossi Photo courtesy of Intersec

Tears in her TopGirl shoot with Bella Rossi
Photo courtesy of Intersec

“I can react any way that I want and it’s all right and I can be as loud as I want and thrash and do whatever. I can just put up with it [the pain] and feel really good about it after it is done.”

Summing up, Mercy says the intensity turns her on. “Not having to hold back makes me want to be pushed even further.”

Of course, as with all BDSMers, she faces the ultimate moment. She wants to know “how intense my reactions can be before I call red.”

Who knows at this time? One thing, though, our cutie is headed to Kink.com one of these days and will gain more knowledge about her personal limits.

Aftercare

A final comment is due on Mercy West. She confesses that playing in the BDSM scene is emotional. “I get to a certain point when I’m worn down and tired and in a lot of pain.” The thoughts that flood her mind are not the best, she admits, though she is doing exactly what she wants and loving it. Yet, she is “emotionally raw” which leaves her vulnerable.

Aftercare in her Pain Toy shoot Photo courtesy of Pain Toy

Aftercare
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

That is “my pleasure and my ecstasy,” she says, and she knows she can handle it. “It’s all fun times. It’s good stuff.”

However, there is a vital ingredient in the BDSM community that submissives appreciate, aftercare. It means everything to Mercy.

“You know someone is there to be nice and cuddle me and make me tea afterward. So, it’s great, it’s perfect. I get to feel emotional release and sexual release and all that good stuff wrapped up into one.”

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I Never quite Know

by Rich Moreland, August, 2015

The Mercy West story continues.

*          *          *

Mercy West Photo courtesy of Hardtied

Absolutely Wonderful
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

“It was wonderful. It was absolutely wonderful.”

A smiling Mercy West sits on a towel with sections of rope scattered on the floor around her (she was hogtied and suspended from the ceiling). Rope impressions on her ankles can’t hide the pleasure she’s just experienced from her kinks. Her butt sports a submissive’s thrill, cane marks. An orgasm went along with the show.

grunge girl poster

Titled “Grunge Girl,” the Hardtied shoot runs for about an hour and puts Mercy through her paces. It’s her first hardcore penetration scene in adult film. She is whipped, performs oral sex, and is vaginally penetrated (she doesn’t do anal at this point in her career). Her Dom is Jacky Hammer.

The producer of Mercy’s shoot is Intersec Interactive Inc. Located in Oakland, California, the parent company of Hardtied is run by Matt Williams who once worked for rival Kink.com across the bay.

For each of its five websites (the others are TopGirl, Infernal Restraints, Real Time Bondage, and Sexually Broken), Intersec uses the Kink model of pre and post shoot interviews to introduce the performer and ameliorate criticism from those who see bondage shoots as degrading and abusing to women.

A Bondage Disneyland?

Things are not what they seem to be when it comes to BDSM porn Photo courtesy of Intersece

Things are always not what they seem to be
Photo courtesy of Intersec

Here’s a little post-shoot info for those who need reassurance that Mercy has her wits about her and is cool with her experience. She spoke at length with me about it.

Everything went well, she says. “I really can’t think of too much that didn’t go how I wanted it to go. Working with Jack was really nice.”

Each time she’s gone to Intersec, excitement and a positive nervousness abound.

“It’s like taking a trip to Disneyland as much as it is a job like the others I do on a daily basis in adult. I really, really love working with them. The atmosphere in the studio is impeccable, everyone seems to get along. Everyone is respectful.”

Bondage porn is Mercy’s magic. “I’m working with the type of people that I’ve interacted with since I decided to put myself in the kink community.” But, she adds, “I’m always a little nervous because I never quite know exactly what’s in store.”

Shooting with Bella Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Shooting with Bella
Photo courtesy of Intersec

And that’s exciting because Mercy knows at Intersec she is watched over and respected. The studio’s directors–she’s fond of Jack Hammer and Bella Rossi, in particular–work within her personal limits, as is expected in the BDSM community. Jack’s shoot had a “pretty girl” theme and after she picked out an appropriate outfit, the stills were taken.

Instead of relying on “screen shots from the actual video,” companies like Intersec “take the time of take good ones,” Mercy says.

Artistic Still from Infernal Restraints Photo courtesy of Intesec

Erotic Art
Photo courtesy of Intesec

From her experience, some studios may break the action to take 35s or “have someone using photography equipment during the filming to capture moments” outside of the typical screen shot. The petite model compliments studios that focus on good stills because they tend to be artistic, thus “falling under the category of erotic art.” The best ones are “absolutely stunning” and can easily end up as website banners and adverts, she believes.

After a second thought, Mercy humorously back tracks. “I could be wrong and people could just be jerking off to them!”

That’s quite likely.

Nevertheless, she’s pleased with hers. They have “more of an artistic intent than purely pornographic one,” she concludes.

Now to the Details

Rain Degrey before one of her Intersec Shoots Photo courtesy of Intersec

Rain Degrey ready for an Intersec Shoot
Photo courtesy of Intersec

Mercy enjoys the travel that reconnects her with people in the business. When she goes to Oakland, bondage superstar Rain DeGrey, an Intersec recruiter and still active model, picks her up at the airport. Arriving this time for Hardtied, Mercy circulated as usual, carefully avoiding anyone who was busy. “There are always people running in and out” and if they have a moment or two they will “say hello and ask how I’ve been,” she says.

A few days before her arrival, Mercy phoned Jack “about limits and ideas and clothing,” what they would have done if they were negotiating a scene at a club.

It’s a process Mercy knows.

“I’m used to talking to the person I’m playing with before hand to get a feel for their personality and for what they’re looking for. I’d already met Jack twice, first on my Infernal Restraints shoot and again at my TopGirl shoot.” She is comfortable with him, she says, he is “a really diverse performer.” Incidentally, Mercy was careful to make sure he liked her outfit.

Jack at work. The outfit passed inspection! Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

The outfit passed inspection!
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Because the scene was her first boy/girl, Mercy’s nerves were like her body, tied up . . . but less than if she’d been shooting for another company. “I couldn’t have felt better about the whole situation.” Not surprising, the adrenaline was pumping. “It really is a drug,” she exclaims, that undoubtedly enhanced her pleasure.

“After the initial interview on camera, we started to work things out and I got into my first position.” As the shoot progressed, Mercy mentions she did not “have to be taken out too many times.” Models get safewords to use when issues arise because BDSM is hard on the body and brain. Some performers, especially those derisively referred to as “LA porn girls,” are not accustomed to the stresses of the fetish.

Mercy knows about the bondage scene; pornwise, she is not in it solely for the paycheck.

Rope bondage, especially strappado, and suspension can be uncomfortable if not rigged properly. Models must be aware of their bodies and even the best like Casey Calvert and the now retired Bobbi Starr would agree with Mercy that nothing should be “tingly” or “falling asleep.” Make sure “you have feeling everywhere,” Mercy says.

Rope Work Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Rope Work can create a tingly feeling
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Intersec is awareness personified. The director and crew monitor the set closely which makes our short-haired bondage babe feel safe. “We did three or four different sections and I was taken out at least two times in each tie just to give me a break and to last longer.”

Making sure Mercy isn't in a tie too long! Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Making sure Mercy is satisfied
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Though Mercy admits “there is a certain amount of performance” in her shoots, “being submissive” has its own particular pleasures. Unfortunately, there is the “subspace” issue which can be risky for some performers. “Sometimes you can get into that headspace and not be completely paying attention to your limbs and your digits.” In fact, Mercy believes “It is really easy to get lost in subspace and if you are actually into bondage and S&M, not just modeling or pretending to be into it, working with experienced kinksters just feels so comfortable.”

A Reality Check

Mercy does remember one surprise. A nylon stocking cap was put over her head. “I didn’t realize it until it happened and I was being walked out on stage. Of course, they had asked me and I agreed—I just didn’t think twice about it.” Next a “tape gag” was put around her mouth and “a tape blindfold over the nylon.”

Stocking cap and gag Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

Stocking cap and tape in the hands of Jack Hammer
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.cm

“I had never been blindfolded and gagged at the same time,” she says and momentarily she felt like she was in over her head, as the old saying goes. Focusing on the sensation “a little too much, I stopped,” Mercy remembers, “shook my head a little bit to get myself straight. Jack grabbed onto me and made sure I was okay.”

‘“Are you all right? I got you. Is everything all right?’”

“I took a breather and he asked if I needed to be taken out of the gag and out of the blindfold. I just stood there and everything was fine. The moment I heard his voice, ready to do whatever I needed, I was immediately calmed down and sort of gave him the ‘let’s go forward.’ When they yelled action and everything went on as planned.”

Looking back, Mercy declares, “I needed a little reality check [which turned out] absolutely beautiful, I really needed that wonderful communication.”

The value of experience in the BDSM play scene is priceless and a lesson for everyone who doubts sane people engage in the fetish. Speaking of Intersec, Mercy says, “I feel like I am completely in control and that they are in control of themselves and aware of the situation.” Good news because her first on-film penetration, breaking her porn cherry as they say in the business, went really well.

*          *          *

Mercy West is not finished at Intersec because she wants to shoot for each of their sites. “They are totally attentive, extremely friendly and I just love working there. I can’t wait to go back. I would love, love, love to do Real Time Bondage. . . that would be one of the most intense things that I have ever done.”

Before the shoot Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

Maybe Real Time Bondage is next?
Photo courtesy of Hardtied.com

What makes that site so special?

“They say it’s about four and a half hours straight of live streaming with tiny breaks in-between,” Mercy exclaims with delight.

Sounds good to her fans, they’ll be ready to watch this bondage slut take it all in.

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Fifty-Seven

by Rich Moreland, August, 2015

This is the sixth installment of the Mercy West narrative.

*           *           *

Ageism, or age disparity, is an issue that occasionally pops up in the American dating (and marriage) scene. Statistically, the percentage of wide age gaps in relationships is pretty small and we don’t hear much about it other than the occasional nanny or babysitter who is romanced by dad.

bogart 2The exception is the entertainment industry.

Don’t forget Humphrey Bogart was forty-four when he met Lauren Bacall, aged nineteen, on the set of To Have and Have Not. They enjoyed twelve years of marriage until Bogey’s untimely death at age fifty-seven. And Woody Allen hooked up with Soon-Yi Previn. He was fifty-six at the time; she a crisp twenty-one.

Within the adult film population, younger women and older men (sometimes twenty years or more) is not at all uncommon. The middle-aged crowd runs the studios, male performers hang around well into their forties and beyond (Evan Stone and Tom Byron are in their fifties), so young girls out with guys twice their age is part of the business and hardly a soul notices.

So it is with Mercy West. Her boyfriend is not part of the porn world, but he is older. Asking her about the difference reveals some interesting thoughts.

Daddy/Little Whatever

The first question that comes to mind is the Daddy thing, particularly in the BDSM community.

A Daddy's girl Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Daddy’s girl
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Kink has its attitudes. Mercy comments that she has worked on fetish shoots with vanilla girls who were not part of the BDSM community. They “are far more timid to talk about their older partners than any of the girls that I’ve run across in the BDSM scene,” she observes.

Mercy notices that often these Porn Valley girls “will say it under their breath.” Her reaction is, “Well, that’s cool. My partner is fifty-seven.”

The ageism “dynamic” is long-standing (it’s called age play) in BDSM, Mercy says. The “Daddy/daughter” or “Daddy/little . . . you know, whatever combination you want to have” is well established in the fetish scene and doesn’t raise an eyebrow. “It’s really nothing to hear, ‘Oh, there is a BDSM model. She’s young, she’s tiny, she’s pretty, she has a Daddy.”

What accounts for the difference?  It may be that mainstream porn appeals more to a Middle America missionary position sexuality than we’d like to admit. Here’s why.

stagatclinton02The liberal 1960s changed the perception of filmed pornography. Times were chaotic and older guys didn’t want to watch females resembling their daughters on-screen when the neighborhood boy’s night out surreptitiously held a stag film showing. Generally, older women (assumed prostitutes) appeared in those black and white clips performing with males who often wore their socks.

By the hippie revolution, young women were ready and willing to take off their clothes for pornographers. Not only were they barely legal in some cases, but so were their film partners, setting up the 1970s and the birth of modern adult film.

Once porn moved into its corporate age and reliable men were, and still are, difficult to find, older dudes and younger women were not news. Though the typical girl has a career of a few months to a year or so, guys in porn last for decades, widening the age gap with every shoot.

Flock Together

Age disparity is a popular bondage theme (schoolgirl spanking, for example) but is more than that in reality. Personal relationships can develop because females mature faster than males and in BDSM, there’s a cerebral component that doesn’t appear in vanilla sexuality.

Vanilla porn fans love to see gonzo elements such as deep-throating, DPs, and anal . . . but it’s the girl’s popularity that sells the movie. In BDSM, the fetish drives the scene. Negotiations establish play and fans don’t need over-the-top sex acts to enjoy the shoot.

Measuring the maturity of play partners, however, is important. No one wants to deal with young and dumb when it comes to rough play. Someone could really get hurt. Then there is the subspace issue that requires monitoring. Inexperienced subs can lose track of their awareness, s0 a well-schooled dominant is worth gold.

There is another very significant factor. BDSM lifestylers tend to flock together. There are clubs, munches, conferences, what have you, designed for kinksters to meet and greet. Social media (Fetlife predominates) fosters a worldwide network of interested people of all varieties, with age being dismissed as irrelevant . . . not something vanilla online dating sites promote or speed dating at a local establishment encourages.

Having said that, Mercy’s partner, Howard, did not meet her under any of typical circumstances. It was business.

Likes to Watch My Work

At work on a bondage shoot Photo courtesy of Mercy West

At work on a bondage shoot
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Mercy explains that when she worked in phone sex, her employer became an inadvertent cupid. “I met him [Howard] through her and we hit it off. We started to see each other more often and our relationship just sort of blossomed.” Out of that came “an open polyamorous relationship” that is more than satisfactory for all involved.

Everyone gets along well. In other words, Howard’s “other partner has her partner,” Mercy says. Despite the potential changes that might evolve, their arrangement remains strongly “emotional and physical.” Howard loves coffee and weed (for West Coasters, weed is not considered a drug) and has a variety of fascinating jobs and hobbies.

“We connect on so many levels,” Mercy interjects, while being “different on other levels . . . but it somehow works.”

Best of all, she says, Howard “is totally supportive of my work, thinks I’m going to do great things, and he likes to watch my work with me.”

No Drama

There you have it. In adult film, older men support their younger girlfriends getting it done in front of the camera. There’s no drama, no “I want you to quit so I don’t have to say my woman is in porn,” Mercy says. Girls love that and adore their daddies, as a result.

Mercy explains what I’ve heard repeatedly in the industry.

“Why is it that girls in the industry, whether it be vanilla, alternative, fetish, BDSM, whatever . . . tend to have older partners? I have always dated older people, between five and twenty-five years older. I don’t deal with drama well and at that point most people have gotten past the jealousy and are open and flexible. They are willing to be realistic, honest, and communicative. That’s what you need when you work in the adult industry and deal with people on a sexual level on a regular basis.

I don’t like the idea of having a flaky partner, someone who feels the need to come to every shoot with me, who questions me up and down and threatens to leave me after every shoot.”

Mercy knows what works.

Sometimes too much drama drives a girl to . . . well, smile and bear it. Photo courtesy of Mercy West

Sometimes too much drama drives a girl to . . . well, smile and bear it.
Photo courtesy of Mercy West

“I’m not saying that all twenty-somethings will do that [raise objections], but finding someone that is worldly and has lived life somewhat and has realistic expectations of a relationship and of love, it’s just worth so much more than just dating someone younger because society says I should.”

Truth be told, here is the bottom line.

“It’s a tough job working in the adult industry and you need understanding, caring, and accommodating people and that tends to be older guys, if you are into guys. I like older women, too . . . Age doesn’t really come into play . . . it doesn’t come into my thought process.”

As if to hammer everything home, Mercy concludes, “You need someone who isn’t going to cause drama, is going to support you and knows what’s up. Like I said, realistic expectations . . . that’s very, very, very important.”

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